best transition ever: grandparenting
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with Natalie caine


What To Do When You Feel Unhappy?

June 23, 2014 | by Natalie Caine | One Comment

Purple_Blossoms_P1090666 “A Course in Miracles”, book by Marianne Williamson, suggests to ask, as a practice daily, “Where would you have me go, what would you have me do, what would you have me say and to whom?”

Whether preparing for a change (empty nest, divorce, career, illness, loss) or sitting in it, people always ask what helps me? Sometimes weeping or simply stopping and resting, and sometimes nothing seems to help and then it does.

One tool I use throughout a day, is a daily practice. I like change so I don’t always do same same.  Sometimes it is a silent walk in nature, a prayer like the words above from Marianne Williamson, or closing my eyes and getting the chatter to quiet while breathing with awareness, reading poetry, short meditation to my imaginary favorite place in nature, writing whatever arrives in front of an empty page, maybe with the starter line, “today I need, today I love…”

The key is to begin something that comforts you and connects you beyond what you know or feel…opening to the moment and getting relaxed.   I don’t know anyone who doesn’t feel agitated or uncertain at times. I use to light a candle and simply look at the flame, noticing what thoughts are in my head, how I lose focus of the flame, and when I hear nothing within.

I take out my pastels or black drawing pen and begin, I listen to a song and lie on the floor. I ask for help from within, “help me…”  I say what I am grateful for.  You will find choices for your daily practice.

Eventually, they will become integrated into your day, like brushing your teeth. No big deal.  One of the benefits is that you become your own best friend/guide, and you become better at holding opposites, like, “yes this is so terrible for me AND it could be worse AND this won’t last forever.”

We don’t always have a friend to call in the moment. We are simply trial and error when it comes to comfort, decisions, and change.  Reach out before or when you are at your breaking point.  You know you better than you think you do.

Color_Waves_P1090813Take good care,
Natalie

Natalie Caine M.A.

Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
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One Response

  1. margie says:

    Thanks Natalie
    I like your advice and my best friend Jake (my golden) is who I turn to as he is always here to listen so I talk to him when I feel the need and then we take a walk together …

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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org