June 2011 Archives

Parents, college grads, worker bees, boomers, married and single, all want the one, two, three directions so they don't cry or stay in bed all day while not knowing WHAT'S NEXT.

Wanting and reality sit on the same bench.  Separate them. "I just want to know already." "I am still in shock and need to be for now."

You have been in the unknown before.  How did you get through those times? 

My clients tell me they don't remember.  They do remember when we name situations and explore: heart break, moving, unfulfilling job, parenthood, divorce, blending families, illness, college, first real job, finances, re-invention, etc.
 
"I don't want to do that."  Those words matter.  No leads to Yes. Your NO teaches you who you are right now.  You can change your mind as you gather and get to know yourself today.

Paradox is that you are going for clarity.  When you dig your heals in or put your head in the sand, the no might block the yes.

Are you the type who does the same behavior over and over for fear of the unknown?  Well, you aren't alone. Acknowledge that part of you and explore how it helps you and how it might limit you.  No critic is invited to this

exploration. 

Stay curious...maybe I do this because I need........I spin the same over and over for fear of .......Some behaviors we live  can diminish and be " less charged."  Go for that curiosity first and not the KILL IT. What motivates you to begin again?  

Anna told me it is one simple thing," I get bored and have to do something. Even if I drive in my car around the block to see what is sold or has new landscapes.  She said she has this little voice that says, "CAR NOW."

Four practices:

1.  BE OPEN to all your thoughts.  "Maybe that person could help me."  "I just need to do nothing today and quiet my spinning mind."  "I don't like that idea."  "I just don't know YET."

2.  Practice discipline.  Make a list of your feelings and ideas.  Two columns  I feel so sick of being in this same place.  I guess I could ask for help.

3.   Make friends with the UNKNOWN.  "I have no idea what to do and that won't last forever."

4.  Patience.  Aren't you sick of that word?  Well, that is because you de-value it.  Patience helps you have realistic expectations and not inflation.  Who wouldn't be sad?  Who would have solid answers today when the news wasn't expected?  Grieving is normal and unique for each. Kelly thought by now after all she had done and been through, that she would be further along. 

Expectation.  This is where you are today.  You get to say the frustration and then check out how it does serve you to not know yet where you are headed.  Keep going.  Not knowing doesn't mean, stop forever.  It means you don't know today. 

One more thing.  Another client discovered she was less patient because she was being seduced by TV.  She and I laughed when she got the ah-ha during our telephone consultation.  Those reality TV shows were messing with her reality verses fantasy.  Walk away from the remote.
 
 
Take good care,

Stay curious and compassionate.
You won't be forgotten nor miss out on happiness.

Natalie

 
 
Natalie Caine M.A.
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
 
Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS

Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
 
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Your life is in transition. You are no longer happy with where you were and not sure what's next.

Time to come up with a new dream.

When a mother called me in tears, I could relate.  Her life was good and she knew it.  Her heart was empty. She silently cried.

Good news is she was ready to explore.

Her signals were boredom, irritability, and wondering if this is all there is to her once happy life. We began to explore on the telephone twice a week. She chose twice to keep her accountable.

Cut to the chase.  After talking, listening, writing, crying, getting out the door, saying no, saying yes, getting into nature, writing down her night dreams, love letters to herself, and a visit to a museum, she got it. 

She is a people person.  She likes her free time .

Her what's next is working part time at a Bed and Breakfast.  She is available for art in the garden with the guests.

I think there is a voice that whispers to you, "You get to be happy. You get to choose.  You get to change your mind."  The challenge is how do you find that voice and if you have it, why not listen to it?

Simply begin something.  ANYTHING.  See where that choice leads you.  Be on a hunt.

One rule...catch yourself when you hear, "THIS IS LEADING ME NO WHERE."  Respond with, "THANK YOU FOR SHARING.  I AM STILL GOING ON A HUNT." 

Happy summer explorations,
Natalie
818-763-0188

Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS

Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.

Private Telephone Consultations
Speaking engagements
Online classes
Support groups
Workshops
Free active message board - connect with others
Story of the Month
Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
Los Angeles, CA

When papa comes up stairs to say, "GOOD MORNING, SWEETIE GIRL," who wouldn't smile? 

Isn't it the best feeling knowing someone loves you so much?

Sure, I frustrated papa because I didn't do what he asked and so he had to ask over and over like my red ball rolling down the steps. 

I have made papa disappointed.  I made him silent. 

I made him feel badly about himself since he lost it with me and yelled and yelled. 

I have made papa giggle, stand in a room and smile with a happy tear in one eye, and proud to chat about me with his family and friends. 

My papa isn't a big wheel in the world. He isn't wealthy or super handsome.  Isn't the team leader or most popular.

My papa is my good morning ignition and my nite nite safety. He's my teacher of unconditional love for real.

Papa is my bright flower that taught me to stand tall, just like this flower.

www.emtpynestsupport.com
800-446-3310