I stopped asking my friend questions. I know that sounds weird. A friend, longtime friend, said that I ask too many questions. I just couldn’t get over that criticism.
I wanted her to know I care and thought questions are a way to care and to get to know someone better. It made the conversations more interesting rather than chit chat all the time. I didn’t ask uncomfortable questions, like how is your sex life, which I wish were comfortable for her.
Women talk. We share. I realized I had more interesting conversations with strangers while waiting in line. I thought back and couldn’t remember her asking me questions. She just talked. Hard to explain, but I get it. I am different now. I said goodbye to her and our years of friendship. Boy was that hard to do.
I just started feeling like I had to walk on egg shells with subjects that were off topic and I didn’t like the lack of her asking me questions.
Friendships change but I mostly thought that happened through moving or job changes or even divorce.
I am so glad I came back to me. Now, it won’t be hard if I do have to do it again.
My time is busy so I want to choose at this stage of life, people who are fun or at least. I am relaxed around them.
Have your friendships changed? Have you changed?
Thanks for listening.
Kari
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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