best transition ever: grandparenting
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Embracing the Wonder of Grandparenting and the Complications That Come With It

August 4, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | One Comment

Every family is unique and has their own dynamics. We will discuss expectations for how to best serve your family.

How do you approach a conversation with your adult children that you want to have with them and they want to have with you?

  • Are they the boss and you follow or is there a way for a more complex conversation?
  • What are the things you want to fight for and what might be a losing battle that you have to surrender to? Still, you want a way to respectfully, honestly, communicate with them even if you don’t get what you want.
  • Managing expectations includes coming to terms with new ones that come up and noticing that old ones get better. What works one day may not work the next.
  • What is your growing edge in life? How do you fire up the energy to do something you never have? What will add heart and meaning for you at this stage of your life?

This class will include presentations, role-modeling effective communication, group discussion, writing prompts, Natalie’s photos for your personal intuition and Q and A.

You will leave with a better understanding of your role in your family, communication strategies, and possibilities for your personal fulfillment. 

Before class, make a list of where you walk on eggshells, what communication hasn’t worked and has worked, what leaves you feeling unsettled as a grandparent? You do not have to share this. It is a preparation for the class but not necessary.

Families go through cycles. In the past, they were dependent now they are more self-sufficient. 

Grandparenting:  Embrace the Wonder Of Grandparenting And Navigate The Challenges

September 22, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Grandparents, join Natalie in learning the art of communicating with your adult children who are now parents. Your role as the grandparent is to follow their lead. What happens if you really have something to say and fear their reaction?  What is worth the risk to communicate even if you don’t get what you want? 

Join us as a support and learning on how to continually build an honest, respectful, relationship with your kids and theirs.

I am so excited to invite you to these online times together. We need each other in this role of grandparenting. Your role is not as easy as you thought it would be around communication, being included, honored, and valued for your life experience. Some of you are having easy communication and honoring experiences and want to learn more about your role and this stage of your life.  

Visit my website for dates online and to register. Meet other grandparents. Grandparents have asked Natalie how to live this stage of their life that is not only being a grandparent. Join us to have a safe community.

October 18, Zoom, 4:00-5:30 Pacific Time, hosted by Pump Station Santa Monica.

https://www.pumpstation.com/pages/embracing-the-wonder-of-grandparenting

November 2, Zoom, 3:00-5:00 Pacific Time, hosted by Omega Institute.

https://www.eomega.org/workshops/embrace-wonder-grandparenting

Natalie was featured on THE TODAY SHOW with AL ROKER recently and was reminded again the feeling of belonging when you are in an inclusive support group.

Email: Natalie@Lifeintransition.org  for more information

Re-Inventing Yourself: I Did It.

September 9, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

You want to have a positive impact on others.  You do know you have gone as far as you can go in the career you have and you also hear loud and clear, “I don’t like my job.”  So now what?

Your life in transition invites you to try an orchestra of ideas, not just the drum or violin.

1.     What compliments have you received from others.

2.     What character in a movie do you admire? How does that character make you feel?

3.     When do you notice you are smiling, in other words, what makes you happy?

4.     What invigorates you even when you are not at your best?

5.     If someone were to help you and you knew you did not have to take this leap alone, would you?

6.     What might you want to begin? You get to change your mind.

Email me, natalie@lifeintransiiton.org, sharing what you discovered and visit my website for support  and events, www.lifeintransition.org.

I have re-invented myself more than once. Yes, I had no promise it would work out. Yes, I was so uncertain about my new ideas that I was launching. Yes, I have no regrets.  For many reasons, just ask me, it was a fulfilling choice to let go and slowly step forward into new parts of myself that were just waiting for me to TAKE A CHANCE. One re-invention was not little steps, it was a flying leap, but I did not know that at the time of my choosing to let go and move forward into new creativity and work.

If I can help you, email, natalie@lifeintranstion.org.

Take good care,

Natalie

What’s Your Wisdom?

September 6, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Empty Nesters, grandparents, those on the edge of retiring, I notice you forget to acknowledge your wisdom. For that matter, all ages forget to say the good in them.  We are trained it seems to focus on solving problems.  I suggest you make time for the great about you.  How have you helped others?  Write it and read it out loud to yourself.  It is uplifting to be your own cheerleader.

I remember when I couldn’t make a big decision that was sitting on my desk.  I walked. I hummed. I wrote. I called a friend.  Then I stopped thinking about it.  I told myself.  I will know when I know.  Move into something else right now.  I moved into cooking salmon and arugula salad.

Did I get clarity?  I did.  I reminded myself of the good in me. The ways I have helped my family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. I reminded myself that I COULD CHANGE MY MIND. BEGIN SOMETHING.  I also pulled up memories of challenging times for me, like illness, divorce, death of my long-time loving friend to suicide.

How did I live those days and nights?  Crying, tucked under covers, eating too much, begging for relief, crying. Yes, I said that twice.  Then a shift happened, and I surfaced from the underworld of deep sorrow.  That too is part of my wisdom. Letting myself be stuck. Grieving. Begging. Weeping. I took the stuckness along with all the other parts of me.  I did not try and get rid of it.  That is a wisdom of mine.  Let that join my life along with my cheerleader.

So, what is your wisdom?  Share it.  Email me natalie@lifeintransition.org. See what support is offered and hear other’s stories of change.  Visit www.lifeintransition.org

Take good care,

Natalie 818 621 4116. Los Angeles.

Empty Nest

August 29, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

I am hoping my experience will help others during the major life transition of being an empty nester or becoming one. Aren’t you surprised you are here, an empty nester, verses starting the school year shopping with your kids for a fresh, new beginning outfit, backpack, parent meeting?  You are not alone. 

Please email natalie@lifeintransition.org , for support and to receive suggestions, and events for empty nesters. 

During a private session this morning on the phone, a single mom shared with me, “I am ambitious and today I just want to be under the covers.  Who am I?” I have been hearing a similar question from mothers and fathers for a decade plus wondering, now what and what is my role with my kids?

It takes time to explore what would be fun for you and to focus on yourself. Think about compliments people have given you over your years.  Give yourself sweet permission to not know today and to self-care, which you hear a lot. Self-care includes checking in with yourself about what you are feeling and what you need today? 

Reach out. Also, congratulations on this milestone and being the parent, you have been for your children. Celebrate you.

Take good care,

Natalie

Empty Nesters Are Calling

August 27, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

“My house and life now feels so small. My kids are all in college or working.”  Yes, we wanted this for them. We are proud.

What do we do with this empty feeling and the lack of giving to them?”

It takes time to find your new rhythm. One day you think you have it and the next you are at the market and see what you use to buy for them, and sadness stops you. This is natural.  I remember passing Halloween decorations in front of a house and that made me sad.  We liked the role we had and mostly we like loving our kids and having them around.  Although, I need to add, I have had parents call saying,” thank goodness they are out of the house. They just were so crabby and self-centered.” 

One day you feel relief and another you don’t feel like doing anything because you just miss them so much.

Begin something. Anything. Just to play around with what might be fun for you. You get to change your mind.

Now you are invited into this major transition asking you to focus on your needs and wants.  I know. It is new behavior for you.  Most parents share with me that after months of uncertainty and some sadness they got into the best wellness routines that they ever had. Other parents began reading at the library to kids and some did short road trips. The list is long in regard to what parents discovered that was fulfilling for them.

Remind yourself to pause before you text or call them. Check in with yourself asking,” what do I really need for me today?  Is it talking to them or letting them be?  Would it be helpful for me to go to an outside coffee shop and be around people?  Do I need to simply rest today?”

I imagine you are surprised at the ladder of feelings that visit you now that your house feels smaller and quieter. Life, in time does show you choices that will give you new meaning beyond full time parenting.

Take good care and visit my website, email me for events and some choices for you,

Natalie natalie@lifeintransition.org.

Left My Job

February 18, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Oh, the road to change with both intrigue and dark turns. Transitions.  As you have read in the news and maybe know for yourself, people are choosing different lifestyles because of what they lived during lockdown and loss.

I changed my career over a decade ago and added to it. I have never looked back.  It is a heart pound when you leave a career and don’t know what is next. You leave a routine, peers, community, visibility, and contributing. 

I have had clients call saying they took a new job and really don’t like it. Others saying, I am so, so done. Now what? 

Take a rest, a pause, I know it is uncomfortable to sit without answers.  They do arrive.  Think about compliments you have received and what you are good at as well as how you want to spend time during your week?  Review your values and what matters to you at this stage of life. 

This is a new opportunity that holds both excitement and uncertainty, but haven’t we already made it through years of uncertainty? Go for it. Be prepared financially for the shift and for the joy of doing something you never thought you would be able to do or for the fun surprise of what went dormant in you that now gets surface. 

Take care, Natalie

#grandparenting #parenting #adultchildren #lifetransitions #babies #familydynamics

Hello Grandparents

February 18, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

I was babysitting the twins. One is teething and the other is proudly climbing into everything, even the dishwasher, where she stood and said “Bravo”.  Now it is locked. 

The little one couldn’t nap, and the other was sound asleep. I took her outside. It has been a long time since she wanted to cuddle because she is on the move. Rocking and singing to her, sweetly she fell asleep in my arms. 

Oh, what a precious moment, just wish I had thought to grab a blanket. She was fine. I was cold.  When they are upset, just soothing them is all that matters. 

She had a great long nap, and I just guessed the other was still sleeping in her crib.  I had no monitor.  Turns out, she was still sound asleep. Don’t you love watching them sleep?  Why is that? 

Take care, Natalie

#grandparenting #parenting #adultchildren #lifetransitions #babies #familydynamics

Empty Nest Expectations

February 18, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Transitions keep happening from easy communication with your adult kids to challenging talks. Maybe you were with them for an on campus visit or they came home, and you thought it would be fun. 

Well, I often get calls that yes moments were fun, but you wanted more time together and didn’t get it. It happens.  They are used to being on their own. You are used to being mom and dad who can’t wait to help and have time together.

A check in with yourself before a visit asking yourself,” What are my expectations for this time together?  Are they real or fantasy?  How will I handle the disappointment and how might I prevent that?

How well are you doing these days with letting it go in the moment and why well and why challenging?  Keep getting to know yourself. It is fun. I often make a backup plan in case my wants aren’t coming my way.

Take good care,

Natalie

#grandparenting #parenting #adultchildren #lifetransitions #babies #familydynamics

Transitioning into Grandparent / Giving Gifts

February 1, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | 2 Comments

I don’t know about you, but when I buy something for the grand babies, I have a hard time waiting to give it to them.  I have always been this way, so it isn’t because of being a grandmother.

I tried to wait and give the gift below for Valentine’s Day, but, well you know what happened. I gave it to them last weekend.  So fun. I am glad I didn’t wait.

I bought a nontoxic puzzle, took out the pieces, printed photos I had of them and used masking tape to tape the photos down.  This way, I can change the photos easily. I put the puzzle piece back on top of the photo. Easy.   The one-year-olds are liking looking at real faces.

You will see below what I mean.  Do you have trouble waiting to give your grandchildren presents because you simply can’t wait for the fun of it?  I will come up with something else for Valentine’s Day, because love love love them and how they allow me to love love love them.

PS. I asked the parents if they think I am over giving things, like clothes, toys, books, bubbles, etc., to their children and they said, “No way.”  I am glad I asked. 

Some grandparents have shared with me that they feel guilty bringing stuff all the time and that they should just BE with the kids and not bring things. Have you felt that way?

Enjoy,

Natalie

#grandparenting #parenting #adultchildren #lifetransitions #babies #familydynamics

Transitioning into Grandparent

January 25, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

A first-time grandmother shared with me “My life has been good enough. I work, have friends, adventures. Loving my grandchild is wonderful.  Watching my child be a parent is icing on the cake of life.” BUT…

She shared that she is struggling with not being included for the fun but is for sure expected to help out.  Helping out is expected from adult children.  AND…

If the family is going on an outing, she said they don’t invite me and she feels that is a fun time  The missing out stems in part from the grandparent not knowing how to communicate,” I do the dishes, bottles, nap time, toy clean up, cuddle, songs, stay late as needed, but I want to go out with my adult child, partner, and grandchild, like a stroll in the park. Not every time.  Sometimes I just feel like I do the “Jobs” rather than the family fun outing where I am not on duty, the parents are. I want them to think about how it is for me too and not just for them. Ok that is unrealistic, or is it?”

In my prior career as a Speech Therapist, I was curious about what was and wasn’t being communicated.  I re-invented and launched Empty Nest Support Services when there was no support and then Life in Transition when a woman sparked the idea by sharing with me, “I was in your Empty Nest workshop, and you need to open these teachings for all life transitions.”

How do we assess how we are communicating with ourselves and others? What is honest communication? How do we develop, step by step, those skills? What is my role today?  How do I figure out what matters?

We know we change at different stages of our lives and at all of them, we want to be generous, and continue to live a meaningful life. I remember a young woman was sitting in the front row of my interactive presentation when she raised her hand and shared,” my family would all be living together now if someone had taught us how to say what we really wanted to say and not think it wouldn’t matter.”

Everyone has a different family dynamic and need. They communicate like mentioned before to someone they feel safe enough to say it to but are wanting to have that honest communication with their adult children who are now the parents. Well not the in law. Maybe just their adult child first. They don’t want resentment to build up. They don’t want to feel used.

Have any of you had those moments where you want to say something but not sure how or when for fear your adult children won’t let you see the grand kids?  That you are being needy and unrealistic?

To some grandparents that might sound absurd, but to others it is real for them. They know who holds the cards. They know to check it out with the parent before doing something, like foods to give the grandchild. They know don’t give advice without being asked. But they aren’t sure what is ok to talk about and what is best left alone?

The new role of grandparent brings so much vitality, awe, gratefulness, and it also brings up how do I say what I am feeling or thinking if I am supposed to be in the back seat? I know I’m not the parent. I also have feelings and thoughts because I am still a person who wants to be respected and heard.

How has this confusion, doubt, about what to say and not say showed up for you as a grandparent?

I want us to have a safe support here to share our joys and challenges, as well as suggestions of gifts to give, things your grandchildren are enjoying playing with and of course the cuteness they say or do. We are building a community. So, stay tune for how we will be “SEEING” each other. Let me know what you need.  I am here.

SIGN UP (click here) so you can receive the emails.  We need each other. It is really fun to be grandparenting together.

Take care, Natalie

#grandparenting #parenting #adultchildren #life transitions #babies #familydynamics

Natalie Joins The NBC Today Show Segment – The New Golden Age of Grandparenting

January 18, 2022 | by Natalie Caine | 2 Comments

Happy to Announce I have been included in a Segment on the Today Show (NBC) Wednesday, January 19 about Another Transition, THE NEW GOLDEN AGE OF GRANDPARENTING, 8:00am – 9:00am

________________________________________________________

Follow Up From Today Show about Grandparenting.  As you noticed, my piece, as well as others who contributed for this segment, were edited out. It happens in TV. Do see the segment. Maria Shriver is as always, real and wise. Stay tuned for more.

Natalie

Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org