Every family is unique and has their own dynamics. We will discuss expectations for how to best serve your family.
How do you approach a conversation with your adult children that you want to have with them and they want to have with you?
This class will include presentations, role-modeling effective communication, group discussion, writing prompts, Natalie’s photos for your personal intuition and Q and A.
You will leave with a better understanding of your role in your family, communication strategies, and possibilities for your personal fulfillment.
Before class, make a list of where you walk on eggshells, what communication hasn’t worked and has worked, what leaves you feeling unsettled as a grandparent? You do not have to share this. It is a preparation for the class but not necessary.
Families go through cycles. In the past, they were dependent now they are more self-sufficient.
I am excited about 2023. I plan to continue to be gentle with myself and others.
Communication has been my passion even before I became a Speech Therapist and then re-invented my career, leaving Speech Therapy, to help those who are seeking meaningful lifestyles, more coping skills for the unknown, and healings from the unexpected. You know I have worked with college students, empty nesters, doctors, lawyers, educators, etc., whose lives are in transition and have no idea what’s next for them, due to divorce, illness, burn-out, retirement, feeling unfulfilled. I also have been working with parents and grandparents who want honest, respectful communication with their adult children.
I wanted to let you know during my one-on-one sessions, group work, retreats, speaking presentations, and collaborative panel discussions, I will continue to offer support to people who are longing for change and those who want to learn how to communicate more clearly and respectfully.
Below are suggestions to do and think about at home:
1. Discover your blind spots (like unrealistic expectations) and ask yourself what inner (spiritual practices) and outer resources I need to make the changes I want?
2. Change is both what you want and accepting that you have a part of you that wants nothing to do with the work, feelings, and unknown that change emerges in you. (I love change and have lived a long long list of them both expected and unexpected and I too know the parts of me that don’t want to change. and wobble when I am in the unknown. Vulnerable for sure.)
3. Change asks you to practice new habits, over and over and hold with gentleness that you will be invigorated for the change, as well as collapse around doing the process of change. One day the new practice works and the next it might not. You did not do anything wrong. Oh, how human we all are…
4. I like writing prompts and music as a way to access what I don’t know or feel. For music, I get on my bed with a blanket, pillow and eye mask as I listen. Have paper and pencil to jot down the experience. MUSIC: CHARIOTS OF FIRE (thank you Brugh Joy for that experience with you).
5, Writing prompts: I DON’T REMEMBER… (thank you Cheryl Strayed for that prompt when I was in your workshop, so profound for me). THE CONVERSATION I WANT TO STOP HAVING WITH OTHERS IS… (Thank you, David Whyte, for that writing during the yearlong study I did with you.)
You are welcome to email me, ask a question, share the above that happened for you or any support you need. More information about private sessions, events, etc. are listed on my website link below. We all want a safe place to connect.
Natalie Caine M.A.
(310) 454-0040
Los Angeles, CA
Featured on The Today Show, in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post and more…
I feel the happiness of being together with people who are part of my circle, both family and friends, during this holiday season. I also know I am an over doer… been working on that and must say, just asking myself… do I really need to be doing this right now? has helped me shift.
I noticed over our Thanksgiving gathering, my favorite is the stuffing, that with so many loved ones wanting to connect with each other and have conversations, that my simply being in the room, observing, was fulfilling for me. I chose to be a listener and of course join in or initiate when the room felt open for it. Have you felt like that?
My practice now and for decades is to check in with myself asking, “what am I feeling right now, what am I thinking about, and do I need to be thinking about that, and what do I need in this moment.” That practice helps me remember what matters and what doesn’t. Is there a practice that helps you even if you only do it once in a while?
I imagine during this season that you feel melancholy moments that don’t have a name. You feel tearful. Me too. That is the benefit of love. I would never pass on feeling those moments that are unnamed and so precious. Humbles me. Reminds me I am alive, thank goodness.
Well, here we go. Holiday season and the turn towards a NEW YEAR; dreams, behaviors to practice, and awareness of what needs attention and what needs a wave goodbye.
May you be gentle with yourself. May you adore who you are. May you connect with your inner invisible “partners” all throughout your day and night, thanking them for walking with you. May you be generous with your love.
Thinking of you with appreciation,
Natalie
Natalie is offering a virtual grand parenting group.
She keeps the group small in order to have Q and A time for everyone. She will be giving suggestions on how to communicate with your adult children, as well as her talking about the role of the modern grandparent.
To join her, email natalie@lifeintransition.org. Natalie offers private sessions, speaking engagements, workshops, zoom sessions with families, mentoring, panel discussions, and in person when possible.
Date and Time:
Please have something to take notes.
$40.00, payment by Venmo or personal check
She is looking forward to your participating in this support group. Her hope is you being able to build a meaningful relationship with your adult children and their children/ your grandchildren and you finding meaning at this stage of your life.
Visit her website link below for more information about Natalie and articles.
Natalie is sharing lines to “We Always Have Beauty” and “Inspirations”. She is sharing these now because it is a place to pause during your day and feel something besides the challenges that we all live. It is a new habit to make time for beauty, right out your window.
Holidays are around the corner. I have been hearing from my clients and during presentations, that they already feel hurt that they weren’t invited. Has this happened to you? How do you handle hurt and being left out?
What expectations are realistic and which ones are fantasy? What conversations can you have now on zoom or the phone with family, friends, about what you would like for the holidays, even if you don’t get what you want? In other words, which conversations are worth the risk and which ones aren’t and then you can find another way to feel what you feel, share those feelings with someone, and make a new plan. We don’t all get to live the HALLMARK MOVIE channel, do we? Does anyone live that or is it fun entertainment verses watching violent shows on tv? I do watch the HALLMARK MOVIES.
Email natalie, natalie@lifeintransition.org if you would like some suggestions around communication and the holidays.
Take good care, Natalie.
PS. Last week I joined a family on Zoom for a meaningful, discussion about holiday time together and the roles siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, cousins, friends play at the gathering. We need each other for these honest communications with respect as the foundation and curiosity sitting at the head of the table. If you would like, I would be happy to facilitate on ZOOM this type of conversation. Just email, natalie@lifeintranstion.org. When you love someone, you just want to be with them.
This is a support group for you. Even good news needs support, don’t you think? So, share good news as well when we gather. You can email me questions before Monday and I will talk about it anonymously on our Zoom. I want each of you to have this safe space for questions, conversations, and suggestions.
The topics are whatever is spinning you that week, that day when we gather. “I want to tell them I feel left out, but how do I talk about it without feeling tiny and without them being defensive. I want to look at options for me at this stage of my life. How do I access my guides?
How do I let go of the resentment I am feeling? How do I decide if I want to be part of that project or pass? How do I have a respectful conversation with my adult kids without them cutting me off in the conversation? How do I get my family to see I have changed, and I am not that little one in the family, that needy one, that controller, especially before the holidays.? What is my role with my kids now? How do I get my husband to participate more in our marriage?
I made a mistake. I can’t let it go. How do you let making mistakes go? I am so bored, but no one knows that. It is too embarrassing. Lonely, yes, I am busy, and still lonely. Those are some of the questions that were submitted and talked about in the last group. natalie@lifeintransition.org is my email for questions.
One of my hopes is that you meet someone in this group that you can continue to connect with as we enter holiday season and winter.
RSVP: natalie@lifeintransition.org Give your name and email address please.
SPACE IS LIMITED SO PLEASE DON’T WAIT TO RSVP. I want everyone to have time for support.
Fee: $35.00
Payment – Venmo, Square, Check. Sent to Natalie Caine. Address for check is: 4400 W. RIVERSIDE DR. STE 110-1002, Burbank, Ca. 91505.
Invite a friend to join you in this zoom so you can keep the practices and what you discovered during the Zoom gathering moving forward for each other.
Email Natalie with any questions. She is excited to be together.
Take care, Natalie
Holidays are around the corner. What communication with your family members are you wondering how to do better this season? Email me for a list of suggestions natalie@lifeintransition.org
Depending on the relationship, all families are unique, maybe schedule a time on the phone with the person before the holidays. “Hey Sis, I keep spinning about a part of me that keeps me from being present when I am with you. Can you help me with this by having a telephone chat before Thanksgiving?”
You will find your words. Just begin to think about how you would like that conversation to go and at the same time, don’t be attached to how it turns out. Love is worth it, isn’t it?
Take care, Natalie
Grandparents, join Natalie in learning the art of communicating with your adult children who are now parents. Your role as the grandparent is to follow their lead. What happens if you really have something to say and fear their reaction? What is worth the risk to communicate even if you don’t get what you want?
Join us as a support and learning on how to continually build an honest, respectful, relationship with your kids and theirs.
I am so excited to invite you to these online times together. We need each other in this role of grandparenting. Your role is not as easy as you thought it would be around communication, being included, honored, and valued for your life experience. Some of you are having easy communication and honoring experiences and want to learn more about your role and this stage of your life.
Visit my website for dates online and to register. Meet other grandparents. Grandparents have asked Natalie how to live this stage of their life that is not only being a grandparent. Join us to have a safe community.
October 18, Zoom, 4:00-5:30 Pacific Time, hosted by Pump Station Santa Monica.
https://www.pumpstation.com/pages/embracing-the-wonder-of-grandparenting
November 2, Zoom, 3:00-5:00 Pacific Time, hosted by Omega Institute.
https://www.eomega.org/workshops/embrace-wonder-grandparenting
Natalie was featured on THE TODAY SHOW with AL ROKER recently and was reminded again the feeling of belonging when you are in an inclusive support group.
Email: Natalie@Lifeintransition.org for more information
You want to have a positive impact on others. You do know you have gone as far as you can go in the career you have and you also hear loud and clear, “I don’t like my job.” So now what?
Your life in transition invites you to try an orchestra of ideas, not just the drum or violin.
1. What compliments have you received from others.
2. What character in a movie do you admire? How does that character make you feel?
3. When do you notice you are smiling, in other words, what makes you happy?
4. What invigorates you even when you are not at your best?
5. If someone were to help you and you knew you did not have to take this leap alone, would you?
6. What might you want to begin? You get to change your mind.
Email me, natalie@lifeintransiiton.org, sharing what you discovered and visit my website for support and events, www.lifeintransition.org.
I have re-invented myself more than once. Yes, I had no promise it would work out. Yes, I was so uncertain about my new ideas that I was launching. Yes, I have no regrets. For many reasons, just ask me, it was a fulfilling choice to let go and slowly step forward into new parts of myself that were just waiting for me to TAKE A CHANCE. One re-invention was not little steps, it was a flying leap, but I did not know that at the time of my choosing to let go and move forward into new creativity and work.
If I can help you, email, natalie@lifeintranstion.org.
Take good care,
Natalie
Empty Nesters, grandparents, those on the edge of retiring, I notice you forget to acknowledge your wisdom. For that matter, all ages forget to say the good in them. We are trained it seems to focus on solving problems. I suggest you make time for the great about you. How have you helped others? Write it and read it out loud to yourself. It is uplifting to be your own cheerleader.
I remember when I couldn’t make a big decision that was sitting on my desk. I walked. I hummed. I wrote. I called a friend. Then I stopped thinking about it. I told myself. I will know when I know. Move into something else right now. I moved into cooking salmon and arugula salad.
Did I get clarity? I did. I reminded myself of the good in me. The ways I have helped my family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. I reminded myself that I COULD CHANGE MY MIND. BEGIN SOMETHING. I also pulled up memories of challenging times for me, like illness, divorce, death of my long-time loving friend to suicide.
How did I live those days and nights? Crying, tucked under covers, eating too much, begging for relief, crying. Yes, I said that twice. Then a shift happened, and I surfaced from the underworld of deep sorrow. That too is part of my wisdom. Letting myself be stuck. Grieving. Begging. Weeping. I took the stuckness along with all the other parts of me. I did not try and get rid of it. That is a wisdom of mine. Let that join my life along with my cheerleader.
So, what is your wisdom? Share it. Email me natalie@lifeintransition.org. See what support is offered and hear other’s stories of change. Visit www.lifeintransition.org
Take good care,
Natalie 818 621 4116. Los Angeles.
I am hoping my experience will help others during the major life transition of being an empty nester or becoming one. Aren’t you surprised you are here, an empty nester, verses starting the school year shopping with your kids for a fresh, new beginning outfit, backpack, parent meeting? You are not alone.
Please email natalie@lifeintransition.org , for support and to receive suggestions, and events for empty nesters.
During a private session this morning on the phone, a single mom shared with me, “I am ambitious and today I just want to be under the covers. Who am I?” I have been hearing a similar question from mothers and fathers for a decade plus wondering, now what and what is my role with my kids?
It takes time to explore what would be fun for you and to focus on yourself. Think about compliments people have given you over your years. Give yourself sweet permission to not know today and to self-care, which you hear a lot. Self-care includes checking in with yourself about what you are feeling and what you need today?
Reach out. Also, congratulations on this milestone and being the parent, you have been for your children. Celebrate you.
Take good care,
Natalie
“My house and life now feels so small. My kids are all in college or working.” Yes, we wanted this for them. We are proud.
What do we do with this empty feeling and the lack of giving to them?”
It takes time to find your new rhythm. One day you think you have it and the next you are at the market and see what you use to buy for them, and sadness stops you. This is natural. I remember passing Halloween decorations in front of a house and that made me sad. We liked the role we had and mostly we like loving our kids and having them around. Although, I need to add, I have had parents call saying,” thank goodness they are out of the house. They just were so crabby and self-centered.”
One day you feel relief and another you don’t feel like doing anything because you just miss them so much.
Begin something. Anything. Just to play around with what might be fun for you. You get to change your mind.
Now you are invited into this major transition asking you to focus on your needs and wants. I know. It is new behavior for you. Most parents share with me that after months of uncertainty and some sadness they got into the best wellness routines that they ever had. Other parents began reading at the library to kids and some did short road trips. The list is long in regard to what parents discovered that was fulfilling for them.
Remind yourself to pause before you text or call them. Check in with yourself asking,” what do I really need for me today? Is it talking to them or letting them be? Would it be helpful for me to go to an outside coffee shop and be around people? Do I need to simply rest today?”
I imagine you are surprised at the ladder of feelings that visit you now that your house feels smaller and quieter. Life, in time does show you choices that will give you new meaning beyond full time parenting.
Take good care and visit my website, email me for events and some choices for you,
Natalie natalie@lifeintransition.org.
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org