Valentine’s Day is a day people have strong feelings of like or dislike. Pressure, phony, commercial, loss, hiding, and celebrations of kisses.
A woman called my office and shared,” I have no lover today. I do have his love letters. We were never live in partners. We were in love. I treasure those sweet words and the sound of his voice in my head when I read them to myself.”
What room, letter, note, meal, glance, flower, candle, hike, vacation, car ride, etc., would you preserve to cherish love? If you are in love today, yesterday, or hope for tomorrow, what puts that smile on your precious face? What action do you do for love and what actions feed love to you? When someone makes me laugh, there sits love.
A mother shared with me that this Valentine’s Day is her last child at home’s Valentine’s Day and it just pulled her into endings. Yes, always a mom. Yes, still able to say, Happy Valentine’s Day, even when her daughter is at college in August, but not able to decorate with doilies, cut out hearts with kisses, cook a special meal, and slip a little jewel box on her daughter’s bed when she wakes for school. Each of us has traditions and joys that feed love. What are yours?
Susan asked me how she can get through Valentine’s Day when she is alone? She just wants it to be over. She doesn’t want anyone to know she has no plans. Embarrassed. She knows she is a good person and attractive. She knows this heart day is somewhat commercial, but she wants to be part of love. She wants love. Her fear is she won’t find a match and will have every Valentine’s Day alone. I am sure she is not the only person with those thoughts and feelings on February 14th. What would you share with her about love and Valentine’s Day?
Susan called back today and said, ” I planned an at home meal for myself for that day. I will watch movies with butter popcorn, light a bright ,big red candle, and write myself a note about what I love about love and what I love about ME. I know the night will end. Thank goodness. The 15th will be a fresh day and I am hopeful love and I will partner.”
Relationships feed you. Bob told me he has better relationship with his research than with people. But he feels the love spark when he discovers something new. Lisa loves her garden daily and feels loved by its surprises and beauty. I would guess that there are five memories, at least, that you have about feeling love. Even in loss, even in what is no more, a memory of love, can smile you. Memories matter. Present love can remind you of how grateful you are to love someone and be loved by them.
Reese told me she just loves planning ahead to surprise him. She almost feels it is a challenge to herself of how to express love and have fun. She likes a challenge. Reese also shared that her sweetie is a fabulous gift giver, but not so great with dressing well, sexy, and she wishes he would.
Solo or together, you know love and admit it…you love love..love of your pet, child, friend, movie, sport, partner, parents, food, music, travel, spirituality, education, giving, etc.
Marilyn shared she often visits a time in her life when she had the ups and downs of being with a partner. It feels so real for her today. She learned so much about herself that feed her to be a better woman. She had fun. She gave. She spends joyous times in nature on the weekends, by the water. Tears fall that he isn’t in her life now. Smiles visit her, feeling his hand in hers and his eyes that turn to her soul. “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” Poets words. Even at her age, as she says, she loves to love and thinks love will be in her hand and eyes, again.
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
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Los Angeles
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