I loved being a mom even in the bratty times. I loved being a partner. Now both have ended. Well, not the mom of me, but the everyday mom. They are in college. I work and feel creative there.
I just never thought I wouldn’t have a happy marriage that lasts. I am a hard worker who doesn’t quit on friendships or a marriage. I can take feedback and make changes. What I can’t do is live the style of life he lives now.
I know the changes of my role with my kids will improve as I take time for me and simply listen more to them and not guide.
I want some support right now rather than my leading so many aspects of my life. I am tired. I stay positive by telling myself what is good in my life. Still, I need to be uplifted at times. My friends are great.
I know my partner and I don’t really want the same life for the next five years, yet alone forever. I need to let go because the actions don’t match the chatter.
I am realistic of the pain and all the details change will ask of me. We have tried everything for years to make the marriage better and it just isn’t going to happen.
A cloudy day as helped my tears to fall. I don’t have it all worked out. I am in the tears of goodbye for now. That is good enough, wouldn’t you say?
Thanks for listening,
Ally
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
Empty nest is a huge feeling of loneliness and forces you to look at the rest of your life with unhappiness. I don’t know how long you have been married but as long as he is not a drug addict, alcoholic, gambling addiction, get counseling. The last thing you need right now is for your husband to be gone!!! While this may sound like the answer for you (and it may be) you must look at your entire life not just him. My husband has made huge mistakes over the years and I am feeling we should be apart after 33 years but where would this leave me and what does this tell my children.
I realize it is more complicate than this, but the fact that you are crying means you are not sure of this decision. Truly seek out counseling. You two made beautiful children together that speaks for itself. Sometimes I wonder if my husband and I have anything in common. However, then a little conversation or a little laugh during dinner and I realize why I married him to begin with. This will be another loss for you and I worry about that.
But then again, you know what is best for you. Just remember the grass IS NOT ALWAY greener on the other side.
Regards,
LL