with Natalie caine

August 10, 2012 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Back to school has begun or is around the corner.  For some parents it is the first time being an empty nester and for others, it continues to drop tears.

How can you not weep when you love someone and know you won’t see them for a while?

What did you think empty nest would be like for you?  What do you imagine it will be like?

 

1. Your parenting role shifts.  One mom shared and others chimed in, “I no longer have the control or imaginary control I use to have.”
2. Each parent grieves this loss of role differently.  Listen and allow.
3. You miss their friends popping over and that vibrant youth energy.
4. Community ends from school connections with parents.
5.  New freedom is exciting and can be overwhelming with choices.
6. You wonder what will give you meaning beyond parenting.
7. Solo or married, it is a grieving for the life and role you had with your kids.
8. Some can’t wait for them to leave the house and that too is “normal.” 
9. Other loses from your past may surface and bring deep feelings.
10.  Parents have shared with me that they realize they don’t have forever like they use to think they have, another end of innocence.
11. You wonder about your marriage?  Does it need a shift, an ending, a slight tweak?

There are so many thoughts and feelings that pop up at this stage of life.  No one needs to go through it alone.

Self-care, know this unknown won’t last forever, and let yourself be yourself.
Hugging someone goodbye that you love is sad.  Sad is simply a feeling and not the all of you.  I remember a mom said, “If I start to cry, I am afraid I won’t stop, so I hate crying.”

Take good care,
Natalie

Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles

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