It is hard to believe a year ago my neighborhood friends stood outside with me, chatting, “Is it time to pack up and leave? Did anyone get a notice to evacuate? Well, we didn’t wait. We hoped to caravan down the canyon. That didn’t happen. We thought we would be back in two days. We took little.
I drove down the canyon that many of you probably saw on the news. Palm branches falling from fire, burnt cars, and flames from homes. On Pacific Coast Highway, I saw the gigantic plume ahead of me. No cars in front of me. I couldn’t turn back. I had no idea what would be on the other side of the dark grey flames. I sang out loud, “Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in a most delightful way.” I am a bit tearful now, remembering what I didn’t choose.
Then it got dark, and I was driving in 80-mile per hour winds. Hotels were booked. I checked into one and sat. The front desk’s lovely woman came over and checked me in.
The next day, I flew to Connecticut. Four different hotels and then four months in what I called my YELLOW ROOM in a friendly hotel. The staff became my new connections.
I found a rental and now live in Westport, CT.
The shock is over. Every day was a to do list to build a foundation in Westport and manage my Palisades home. It stands.
Today I watch a video of the rally in the Palisades, and I think of the song, “I RISE UP” Andra Day.
I didn’t choose the unexpected. It grew me. It changed me. I am grateful for those who showed up for me and gave me shoes and clothes in the winter at Westport and sat with me.
Here I am moving forward. I am more than OK. I have a new adventure and wellness that surprisingly walks with me. Grief, unpredictable. Love, always a choice. Beauty, where I am only asked to pause.
I am more than OK. I live.
I am wondering, what have you unexpectedly lived?
Take good care,
Natalie
PS: My background music as I write this note to you is, “WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS LOVE SWEET LOVE.” I choose that song forever.
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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