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Empty Nest Syndrome Before It’s Time

August 7, 2009 | by Natalie Caine | 4 Comments

Dear Natalie,
 
It’s funny … I’ve been in such a funk and these past two days it has gotten much worse.  I know I’m suffering from empty nest syndrome and I’m feeling lost.  I can’t seem to make myself do much except putts around.  So I Googled “empty nest” and found your site.
 
My circumstances are slightly different, however.  Our son has not left our nest.  He’s only just graduated eighth grade.  I know it’s still a transition time.  He went away to a camp for two weeks, and that’s when it all started to hit me.  I realized that it’s just around the corner that he will be going off on his own.  I missed him so much while he was at camp!!  Since he has been back (less than a week now), he’s never home.  He doesn’t like to hang out here with his friends, and he doesn’t spend much time here at all.  I miss him and I feel like I’ve already lost him.
 
So I’m sad and feeling lonely.  I realize I need to fill that void in my life a little.  And I do realize that things will change a little bit when school starts in a few weeks.  But I’m also scared for him.  He’s not interested in fall sports, and I’m worried he won’t get involved in anything and go the wrong direction. 
 
I work from home, and this summer is particularly slow, which doesn’t help matters.
 
I’m disappointed, too, that he doesn’t hang out and bring friends around.  I think that would be fulfilling for me, too.  And I’m also disappointed that he won’t be involved in sports for myself, too, for the adult/student social aspect.
 
Having been in counseling quite a bit in my life, I know all the things that I should do to help myself through this time, but I’m still feeling stuck in this funk.  I feel like I’m grieving.  You know … you know it will get better, but you just can’t help it right now.  I just want to curl in a ball and cry.  (I know it sounds like depression, but I’ve had that under control w/ medication and counseling).
 
Anyway, your site helped, and writing this e-mail has helped just a little.  Maybe it will help someone else who feels like I do to read my story.
 
Thanks,
 
Brenda

4 Responses

  1. Denise says:

    I feel the same way like I am grieving. My son left for college and I have a freshman in high school. Soon he will be gone to!

  2. Debra Douglas says:

    My only son has left home for college he is the survior of three pregnacy , and our only child im havinf a hard time I cry at the drop of a hat and has this empty feeling and loss in my stomach. It is like i’m grieving

  3. KATHIE says:

    Hi I am having such a a hard time we took my daughter off to school yesterday and I havent eaten in 2 days .My girls are all i have in life how did I let that happen ,no family and very little close friends near by ,now I just sit and cry ,I am trying to pull it together but its hard please if you can suggest anything. Thanks Kathie lost on Cape Cod

  4. Tamera says:

    Kathie,
    Boy can I relate! I’m almost 49 years old, never been married and a single mom of a junior in high school. My mom had a stroke and I moved her back to ND to a better nursing home and have lost almost all touch with other family members. I could go on and on….just wanted to say, “Hang in there!” It’s gotta get better!

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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org