Parents have called to share their feelings and questions about attending their child’s college orientation.
Some will be going to move their college children into dorms or apartments about a month after orientation, so they are passing on taking off work, spending the money, and sharing this experience.
It isn’t an easy decision. Parents look forward to this transition before the big hug goodbye. They want to be part of the community even though they know it isn’t really their community. They want to share in the experience and still be mom or dad who nurtures and takes care of their children. They aren’t wanting to let go, yet of protector and problem solver. They know the final curtain call is around the corner.
It is a vacation for the family. It is ease on down the road time.
Each family evaluates the pros and cons of being there for orientation. We have an orchestra of voices inside us that want air time. Let them speak to you by doing a walking meditation or sitting. Ask the question, “What value is there in my going to the college orientation?” “Do I need to go?’ “Will I miss out?” “Will I regret that I didn’t go?” You will have many questions and many answers. This is a sorting time. Whatever you decide, trust you can handle the outcome. Isn’t it all about trust and not about the right answer? We forget to journey inside and keep asking the questions. We ask once. Ask when you are pouring your coffee in the early morning and sitting before work. Repetition is a good thing for clarity and getting to know yourself.
If you don’t go, make a plan for yourself for the time she/he is gone. You need to feel nurtured and have fun at home. If your inner critic hammers you for not going, say, “THANKS FOR SHARING AND I AM FINE.” If you feel sad, feel those feelings. Who wouldn’t feel sad with all these changes and role shifts?
Are you going?
Share with us,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
Los Angeles, CA
818-763-0188
800-446-3310
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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