Jackie called me, “My son is coming home. He graduated college and has no job. What do I do?”
1. Let him know you believe in him.
2. Leave a short, yes short, note of suggestions, like volunteering at an animal shelter, starting his own website about his passions, asking his friends and their family for any summer job – one that might lead to a permanent job, give him the names of your connections, pay him to do some jobs at home which teaches him timeline and accountability.
3. Ask him how you can help after he tries the above ideas.
4. Use stories to make a point. Story telling is brief and impactful.
5. Show him how to use classifieds and online newspapers if he wants that help.
6. Ask if he needs a professional to mentor him for work and resumes, etc.
7. Believe me, he already feels anxious and unhappy about his situation. Let him know you care and you don’t want to be the NAG in your relationship with him. You want him to succeed.
8. Give him a timeline of communicating with you how the job hunting is going. You know your son, so do you need communication daily or weekly?
9. Raise the bar. If you do, he will attempt to grab it.
Do your life. You have worked hard to develop this role shift from him since he left for college. You will make mistakes. Say sorry. Let it go.
You are at a stage in life where you are more of a mentor than manager as parent. He needs you to let him be empowered and not managed. You need to discover parts of you that had to go dormant and now what some air time.
Keep humor and music alive at home.
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
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