A mother shared with me during a telephone session, “I know my daughter loves me, but I don’t think she likes me. She doesn’t want to spend much time with me when she comes back home.”
After chatting and sorting, she realized her perception and expectations of mother daughter were cloudy. Holidays for sure bring up needs and memories. Take time to pause. Get nurtured by nature or massage or a nap. Remind yourself that you are loved. Children’s ways of expressing and showing love might be different than yours. Age gap. It is confusing when you get along so well with your daughter and then don’t hear from them as often as you would like.
They lead, not you. Harsh, I know. I say it so you can let go and have a more realistic relationship. They are building a life for themselves, independent of you. You know that, so this is just a reminder. You miss your children and who wouldn’t?
Your role continues to shift as parent. Just when you think you are settled into that role, a new experience gets lived and you wonder, again, now what? Change keeps you in touch with yourself and is actually a good thing, even though uncomfortable.
Take time to pause and enjoy a view.
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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