A mother gave me permission to share this story with you.
Summer and the living is easy. Not for her. Her mind traps her like bricks on her face. She can’t see her beauty or feel her confidence. This is new for her. Sure she has felt bricks on her face in past years. Stuckness makes her feel insecure, childish, unlovable, unattractive, sluggish, and unwanted.
Part of what triggered this cycle was rejection. She wanted a work opportunity and didn’t get it when all seemed on track. Hopes were high. Three fun work projects didn’t happen. They might in the future. Today she is deeply disappointed.
She was also looking forward to being with her girlfriends for a fun weekend and they cancelled. Her perception of rejection and not being wanted all came from women.
She is an over doer, confident, and successful. She prides herself in falling and getting backup pretty quickly. She is loyal and hopeful. She usually shifts in a day. Not this time.
Surprisingly, what entered her into a deeper conversation with me was her gaining weight. She shared that she hasn’t gained weight in years. Weight gain makes her feel out of control, unloved, and judged. The television news was talking about everyone losing weight. She was adding pounds.
The deeper conversation was about her head pushing her with past criticism from her mother. When her mother occupies her head, her inner child is running her life, verses her adult woman. A child doesn’t have the tools to see what is real. The adult woman can handle whatever life brings and not like what she is dealt.
She felt like her blood was thinning too much. Interesting image. That is another story.
Good news is, this DEEPER CONVERSATION connected her to a lost part of herself. She became a little inflated with success. She kept pushing from her bright intellect and left behind her feminine gifts. When times get challenging, her style has been to push harder, do more, rise up, and go for more doors that might open. What she discovered, was that she was being invited to GO WITHIN rather than cheer lead ahead. She wept.
Of course there is more to her experience. Disappointments feel horrible. You feel irritable and your perception of your life is often out of focus. This mother is going to take time to nap, journal, and be present with herself and others. She will check in with what she is feeling, thinking and needing daily.
She might do some drumming, prayer for being and opening to her feminine, float in water, dance at home, and sit under the moon light in her yard. She wants to feel that she is good enough no matter if she gains weight, is left out of a party invite, doesn’t get a work gig, or has time solo.
Return to love…… She usually spends time there and for today, she lost the love and got caught in the negative and untrue voices.
We all have times when we feel deeply disappointed and unlovable. There is a gift in the “uncomfortable feelings and thought.” New parts are available to hold your hand. Meet them.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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