Whether kids come back home, or you have no children, boomers don’t want to be invisible. They want to feel that their life learning’s will be of VALUE. Talking with boomers across the country, I have not heard one say that they want to do nothing forever.
The opposite is true for them. They know they will continue to live a long life, which could be thirty more years. They don’t see themselves in rocking chairs on a porch, eating at 4:30, and asleep by 7:30. They do see themselves out and about, learning, contributing, making money, and building new friendships.
Yes, they want to travel. Yes, they want grandchildren. Yes, they want to get fit. Yes, they want to re-marry. They want to live in walking communities, part of vibrancy and all ages of people, not only boomers.
Some have gone back to school to be acupuncturist, physical therapists, teachers, and spiritual teachers. Some have opened their own businesses, like designing jewelry, organizing, wardrobe styling, house staging, stationary, tutoring, etc. Others have asked merchants in their NEIGHBORHOOD for part time work, as a step towards re-entering the work force and a way of being part of a community.
What holds people back is JUDGEMENT about themselves. “I should have found something to do already. I am too old for anyone to hire me. My skills are dusty and people will see right through my flaws. I have no idea where to begin.”
You and everyone else, has a critic voice. Take a step beyond that messenger inside your head. You also have a voice that tells you, you are valuable. Age isn’t that block. You can begin a new anytime.
At this stage of life, you can practice hearing more than one voice and telling yourself, “maybe this is true AND maybe that is true too.” Build a range of inner voices that support you. Top inner voice on your daily list is SELF COMPASSION.
Research, ask for help, be vulnerable and courageous, “I have some free time now, what help do you need?” People have shared with me that they are embarrassed to say they have free time. Why? It makes them feel like they failed, have no friends, or successful career.
They feel needy or they feel inflated. Inflated meaning, everyone should one to be with them, hire them, etc., needy meaning they are desperate for a new life which might show itself as being controlling, pushy, or talking too much.
Who doesn’t have strengths and challenges? Really, who doesn’t? Who doesn’t make mistakes? SORRY I keep doing that to you and haven’t…… THANK YOU for….. is two words, forgotten too often..
You don’t have to say YES, instantly. You can say, “let me think about that.”
I know that sounds obvious to get back to them later, and when you are hungry for CONNECTION, you forget to pause. Not pausing is another reason people don’t re-invent. They fear committing because they forget as adults that they can change their mind. You get to change your mind. Permission granted.
Go. Begin something. Begin anything and see where that leads you. What that teaches you about yourself. Begin. Change doesn’t happen if you don’t begin.
Thank your CHATTERING HEAD for occupying your time and keeping you company. Now meet a NEW PART of yourself that has been WAITING and waiting for you to listen to her/him. Sit and ask, “does anyone within have some positive feedback for me?”
As you know, I RE-INVENTED my career eight years ago. I am happy. I began with an IDEA that I put into action a week later that included a circle of seven women. I reminded myself daily, that I would rather LEARN something new, FALL, get up again, than sit in GLUE. My new career has connected me with ALL AGES of people, creativity, friendships, travel, beauty, spirituality, health, bravery, skills, and more.
Doors I thought would open DIDN’T. Doors I never imagined knocking on OPENED. I am HERE if you want to re-invent and begin, BEGIN with a small step. A step that LIFTS your spirits, as you enter an unknown.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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