with Natalie caine

June 10, 2006 | by Admin2 | No Comments

by Patty Merritt | submitted on June 10, 2006

I have been a single mother for most of my life. I have a daughter that is 27 years old, 3 grand children and another daughter that is 18 years old in two weeks time; at the end of June. My 18 year old is Jenna Lyn. She is graduating high school next year and is currently holding down a part-time job. I have taught my children, right from wrong, moral values, no sex before marriage. Jenna is a very sweet and compassionate young woman with some strong opinions about politics and just life in general. I do remember being that very same girl once upon a time. There has been difficulties and challenges thru out the years but, all in all it really hasn’t been that bad.

Raising a teenager in today’s world has been not only a challenge but a duty I chose to take.

I Don’t make rules I can’t enforce. No, this is not “sending the wrong message”, it is living in the real world instead of some idealized fantasy land where I can actually control her. I can’t and I can’t Accept the up coming empty nest.

She asserts her independence. And as she grows, our relationship matures beyond the power struggle. I have tried to be objective and equally applied. My rules cannot vary depending on the place or the mood. I try not to take things personally because change is hard, and changing from toddlers into people is one of the hardest. I have to remember, she is not rejecting my values, only experimenting or as we use to say, “pushing my buttons” to learn which is best for her. She will soon have a new identity in a year or two.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, where she will be out of the house, off to college and exploring the unknown as she will see it thru her eyes. Where she is saying to herself, Wow! “I made it.” Where I am saying, she’s not going to make it out there. My thoughts run deep about AIDS, babies having babies, the modern world is evil, and corrupts. Alien and UFO abductions, conspiracies, implants, cloning, the Divinci Code, theories and near death experiences to name a few.

I wanted to prepare her for an amazing adventure with different jobs, relationships and priceless moments. Where she must learn to choose friends, spend money from a checking account, pay bills, balance her life between college, dating and other activities, and develop her own set of values.

Now is the time for me to show that I trust, love, support, and truly believe in her. That’s when I say. Just do it… don’t explain yourself. Do what you think is right for you…

The uncertain future is looming ahead, and I have the desire to stay in the scenario that I have been accustomed to for the last eighteen years. I want her to be safe. I am so not ready for the empty nest. She never did like mornings.