by Brenda | submitted on May 12, 2008
My children were like my customers. I would work for them until I drop. No, not, a martyr, just a passion. I researched about parenting in every stage, even teen age and college stage, but there wasn’t much about empty nest that I didn’t already know. “It will take time and you have to let go.”
Successfully, I raised two children. Working for them meant I would rock them, feed them, make them laugh, talk and talk so they could learn to talk and listen and listen, so they would feel free to be themselves.
Now I have to do whatever it takes to not email, call, or text them too much. I have to change my day and night job as a mother whose children are coming home after practice or a school trip, or a party.
One is just married and the other is in college. All good times, but I have such non-productive time. I am not used to that. I was a working mom but work isn’t enough for me.
So I realized, I can’t get every joy from my children, work, partner, or friends. I have to be OK with boredom and uncertainty.
What bugs me is time is clicking. Aging trips me up saying I should be finding more satisfaction.
Honestly, I am surprised that the dissatisfaction is not that my children aren’t around as much, but that I don’t know what to do with the free time that I always wanted. Emptiness.
Like my friend said, “How much time can we spend working out, gardening, seeing movies, reading, decorating the house, volunteering, etc.? There must be more!
Well, I just wanted to share what’s up for me these days. Now, I feel a little better. I hear the humor in myself.
Thanks for listening.
Brenda
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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