Holidays, traditions, people around the table and those who are no longer here, reflect that change happens. How do you cope? Over and over, what seems to help is to be with whatever you are thinking and feeling. In our groups we practice knowing when to say stop, enough spinning the story and when
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When my daughter went 3,000 miles away to college, I felt a spread of feelings. Happy for her, excited that I, her mother was a part of her journey up to this door and empty from a role I loved and knew was shifting. I had a career, husband, friends, family, and lovely home. I
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Who is minding the store when you are stuck? Is it the inner pusher, the critic, the perfectionist, the bully, the little one, or a combination? Well, you know what I mean. In our support groups and private sessions, we shared what it is like being STUCK. Losses come up, dreams died and won’t
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What to do when you have no Valentine THIS YEAR? We asked that question and here are some answers: 1. Treat yourself to something you wish someone would buy you.2. Dance with the music loud.3. Go to a group class that night.4. Make a list of what YOU LOVE about YOURSELF.5. Make cards and give
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February, and our women’s group decided to write, photograph, draw, cut out pictures from magazines, garden a day, bake, doodle, or any creative idea that would focus on love. People call in tears that they want February 14 to be off the calendar when they are solo or in the emptiness of a quiet house.
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When Molly shared her story, I wept. The short of it is this. She was headed to her dream job that landed without years of struggle. She fell. Not outside but within herself. She felt, not good enough, for this newness. She said she wasn’t going. She didn’t. She allowed me to share although that
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She called in tears. I have to do everything solo. I am good at it and that doesn’t matter. I have a problem. I give and accomplish and get acknowledged. I feel lonely. The joy of doing the job well doesn’t fill the sorrow. She continued. Friends call to support me and it is consistently
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Many share that line when they call for support as they are going through divorce, career shift, retiring, empty nest, illness, or finding new meaning. “I thought I was a grown up. I feel like an adolescent.” ” I had no idea I would stay in my stretch pants for days and flip the channels.
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Happy New Beginnings as we enter 2013. In our group we talked about exciting ideas each of has that includes both our inner and outer world. We shared what behaviors keep us going even when we naturally collapse. Each person wrote two ideas that will help them be kind to themselves no matter what
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Holidays are full of memories and gatherings. It is painful when you feel lonely and it seems the rest of the world is cheering and getting together. You feel left out and wonder “why aren’t I invited”? Each year I speak with people naturally weeping about how their life is honestly lonely during the holidays
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A woman shared with me that as she was rumbling through her holiday boxes to decorate, she found stacks of boxes. She opened them. Over and over she kept hearing herself ask, “Why did I save this concert ticket, these match boxes, this writing, those papers?” Long story short, what she found about herself is
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“The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.”Elbert Hubbard Memories rise up. People we have spent time with and those we no longer can see, come visiting in our minds and hearts. Memories are a good thing. We fear the tears, the loneliness, and we long for connections.
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
