I can’t say empty nester, yet.
I am so busy with work, caring for my dad, and my daughter choosing today what college to attend. Thank goodness because when I am not busy and exhausted from all the work and errands, I cry. Well, I cry even when I am in line or at the computer for work.
It sounds silly when I write it but I love my daughter and that doesn’t shift no matter where she is but I am sad that all those years of activities and groups and dinner together is ending, let alone her friends that I won’t see much after them being at the house for years.
I don’t do well with change. I have a fun list of what I want to do with more free time, but it is a list. I guess I just go with the flow. Comforting to know I am not alone in this change.
I plan to stay a couple days after she moves into the dorm wherever that is. I need to unwind and be close but not in her face. I am saving for a trip to New Zealand.
I think what bothers me is it means I am getting older and don’t have that care free feeling. I have to make better decisions about money, fun, people I spend time with, health. I feel a little jealous that I don’t have that youth of a long time to be cared for by parents and make mistakes and choices. Study abroad, I could but realistically I won’t.
Thanks for being here as I dive in and move on paddling and floating. HELP
Susan
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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