My sister called to see how I was doing with the countdown and to do list. She has been through it. Wish she lived here.
I told her I cry and over react and then have to say sorry, just ignore my moods that are all over the kitchen. My son just looks at me.
I pick myself up. The fall is because I know everything will be different after the dorm drop off. I just dread what I will feel and think about when I can’t see or talk with him.
I wish I knew how long I would be hurting, like how you know how long the dish washer cycle runs. I don’t do so well not knowing when it comes to newness.
I think my son will be very happy after he makes friends and gets the swing of classes and a campus map. I have no map. I can’t even do anything about it right now. Sure, I work, but being a mom isn’t work to me. It is life. Wow, that sounds dramatic, but you parents must know what I mean.
I do plan to just rest after the goodbye and regroup myself. I feel excited about his adventure. I have to apply for one. So where is that travel agent for what do I want to do now that I have free time?
I am grateful to find this place where other parents are empty nesters.
Maggie
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
Maggie ,
I feel for your situation and can relate- I am past the stage of sending off my last child to college. I remember well not enjoying the whole experience of planning and counting down the days left- when all I wanted was to escape and cry. I held back my tears and threw myself into the many tasks at hand- as well as the endless shopping for dormroom needs and other household necessities etc. It’s funny but I really have not gotten over the idea of having no kids around at all.( My kids are both married and live away ) I have a 3 year old grandson and now have a new role as a Nana. I am learning a little everyday that I have to push myself into doing things that are meaningful and entirely out of my normal range of activities. I am only glad to be of help for my daughter- but I also am careful not to limit my expectations and only care for grandkids as the single most rewarding thing in my life. I am taking more time for “me”. This will come to you in your desire to have a new life
without your kids. I found the path to be not that easy- I have been sad too long and now I have to move on- I am really making an earnest effort to move foward and learn new skills. I wish you luck. but don’t distress yourself over when will the sadness go away- I think it always remains on some level- you need to replace it- or cover it up and fill the void in other ways.