Parents ask me, “How do I figure out what is next for me?” One thing that helps is talking about your interests and then following up in a week. Schedule the follow up on your calendar before you hang up the phone.
I too need inspiration and clarity outside of myself. I notice women have a harder time asking for help. This is YOUR TIME. Sure, you feel vulnerable, especially when you are clueless about what to ask or how to explore, and you are feeling off balance because you miss your children. Get help.
I have asked other experts to hear my thoughts and feelings around raising my bar and to suggest what they would do or have done. I ask what mistakes they made or how they would do it over if they could. I feel so good after I hang up the phone. I have more energy to do the work.
A spark of inspiration and concrete to do’s works for me. I believe people will say no or tell me what they need if I call for help. Remembering that allows me to ask for support. They know how to respond to my exploration and I believe if they don’t, they will tell me that and head me to someone who might be of help. Positive beliefs and action to persevere, shuts off the negative chatter in your head where you spin over and over rather than reaching for the phone or writing an email.
Mistakes will happen. So what? You get to start over and to change your mind.
So raise your bar with people who are willing to hold it for you.
Make a list of what you would ask and who you would call. Perfection needs to stay in the car. You can fumble over what to ask. Do research. Write it on your calendar, Tuesday I will research more websites. Wednesday I will call or email five people. Move your ideas out of your head and into a conversation. Let me know by emailing me, natalie@emptynestsupport.com, how raising your bar worked for you. Some call it accountability. I call it partnering
Take good care,
Natalie
– Just featured In Time Magazine, August 24, 2009
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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