with Natalie caine

December 15, 2009 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

–   Holiday gatherings get smaller.
–   Children come home and leave or never leave.
–   Lovers divorce.
–   Friends are unavailable.
–   Careers end.
–   Parents die.
–   Dreams don’t happen.

You have already lived changes.  What if you had a chat with yourself
that went something like this? You know another change is coming. What
do you need to do to prepare for change?
 
My answer for now is kindness and looking at behavior.
 
People talk too much about what they want to do, will do and yet their
behavior is predictable. The same actions as last month and the month
before. Maybe you have had trouble grieving the reality that the talk
isn’t equal to the behavior. Do you know what I mean?
 
When you are kind to yourself, what are you doing, thinking about, and
saying to yourself. I can handle this. It will end.  I know how to
self-care daily. I am human and make mistakes. I took another risk and
it didn’t give me what I hoped it would. I can pause and my world will
still love me.
 
When you are looking at your behavior and others behavior in your life,
what pops up?

• There she goes doing that go go go thing until she drops
  and has to end the day with nothing left but a memory of a work day and
  sore feet. 
• Does she have to keep having those kinds of days?
• Do I really need to chat about what’s on my mind right now or can I be with
  it to see what else washes up from the crashing waves? 
• Are my expectations of myself and them realistic or heading for a fall?
• Do I need my blinders on because the pain of the truth is more than I can
  explore today?
• Do I have support/resources or haven’t I made time for that? 
• Am I embarrassed to admit my thoughts because I will be judged/left?
• Is my voice too void with others?
• Do I listen when they give me their thoughts?
• Do I have to agree with them in order to end the discomfort of the conversation?
   
  Change will happen. Knowing who we are, aren’t and practice being a
  new,  feeds our self love and allows others to enjoy being with us,
  rather than fixing or walking on egg shells.
   

Acceptance doesn’t mean forever. It means for now.  Love isn’t forever.
Love lifts us and keeps a fire lit for tomorrow.
 
May you know who you are and love yourself no matter what,then you can
hold another.
 
I appreciate your being part of our community that stays curious and
compassionate as we all are building our unique new roadmap beyond
parenthood.
 
Natalie 
natalie@emptynestsupport.com 
818-763-0188 
www.emptynestsupport.com