with Natalie caine

January 4, 2010 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

A sign. A message. A signal. An unexpected experience.

Like other free Sundays, I often drive the Malibu Canyon to be in nature. I walk the beach, This morning I was driving alone around nine am. It was warm and clear with the bonus of soft lighting on the mountains and leaves.

Suddenly a deer leaped in front of my car. The deer was so light, beautiful and fast. I was stunned.  I looked out my rear window and pointed to the car behind me, as if to say, “Did you see that?”

I had plenty of room to put on my brakes. I never felt my life was in danger or that I was close enough that I could have hit and killed the deer.
 
I was fine. Until a few minutes later as I was still driving my silver car down the canyon and I burst out crying. I thought, “This deer was simply in her neighborhood, crossing the road and in an instant her life could have changed.” I kept thinking about how silent, large and graceful she was.

I thought about my friend who died a week ago. I thought about another friend who did have a heart attack on the canyon road, went off the cliff and died.

One vulnerability, like feeling you could have hit a deer, can trigger other memories of vulnerability/loss.

My thoughts weren’t filled with the possibility that I could have died or the deer, but more with the WONDERMENT OF SEEING A DEER on a road I drive monthly.  THE UNEXPECTED.

In the evening, I looked up the symbology of deer. I decided it was a message for me….. a theme for 2010.

Last year in December, I was walking alone in Northern California in an area I never explored. Suddenly, a herd of WHITE DEER leaped across the meadow.  I felt ecstatic. Tears feel.  

DEER. I think they are my “Medicine Totem.”

I read where is said something like Deer Totem people are swift and alert. They love all and carry heart space. They know the beauty of balance. Deer people are intuitive and have extra sensory perception. They know they can’t change anyone. They accept who a person is. They live unconditional love and compassion.

I do relate to the deer totem animal. Now I will pay even more attention to those traits and acknowledge what I have learned to become. When I leave my deer behind, I will hopefully see her leaping and anchor myself into her.

I believe I did receive a “sign”  “gift” for the New Year.  WONDERMENT and EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

Where did I feel wonderment last year and how do I want to add more of that experience this year?

Do you believe in “signs?” If you were an animal, which would you choose to be?  Two decades ago I chose a giraffe.

I hope to read your comments here. I pass WONDERMENT TO YOU in the NEW BEGINNING of 2010.

Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
818-763-0188
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