with Natalie caine

January 7, 2010 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Parents have a theme this week when we have our sessions:  How do I let my children go?

Isn’t that a lifelong question?  Keep yourself light which means unplug the clutter in your head.  We chatter so much inside our precious mind that there is no room for newness or peace.

 You began letting them go when you dropped them off at Kindergarten. It wasn’t easy in the beginning and then you found a new rhythm and trust.

 Focus on you.   Are you having fun?  You know all the other subjects about you, like eating well, etc and we forget to plan for fun.  Pick anything and see if you like it.  One mom, who is single, takes tango lessons to feel vibrant and laugh.

Letting go brings tears and fears at times and those times might be surprising.  You think you have your new rhythm and then tears.  Tears and fears are feelings.  What is wrong with feelings?  You don’t have to change being vulnerable.  Vulnerable is precious and part of being alive.  If you feel you are overwhelmed with the tears and fears then for sure you deserve help.  You chat with a physician and gather information. Empty nest is a major life transition and challenging.  You can’t imagine the shift until you are sitting in the silent, empty house.  You hurt. That is normal so don’t go through the journey alone.

Add beauty to your home. What would that be for you?

What do you seem to do each week that lifts you, which might give you clue of what you like?

There will be lonely, boring days and no communication with your children. Life includes those days.  Good news is, it is a day in the life that still is your life.  You don’t have to figure it out, make it better, change, shift, etc.  Sometimes life is lonely and boring. We live with paradoxes and that isn’t easy.

Let your children lead.  If you remind yourself you are “unemployed” from the role you had as a parent, that reminder helps with a reality check.  They need to grow up.  You did a good job so they could be out there in the world without you.

You just need a buddy who understands.  Change is never a walk in the park.  Ask for help.  You would help someone if they called you.

Take good care,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
818-763-0188