Do you feel like you are in the thick of it and just want a little opening of a better day?
For some parents, college acceptance letters are arriving , for others Spring Break with children deciding not to come home or the anxiety of transition, home and then gone again, differences and needs and getting the connection you long for with your changing children.
How do you shift a day where you feel trapped in your disappointments?
You have heard it over and over ….feel grateful for what you do have, even the ordinary days. Days where you aren’t sick, your car works, you can get outside, you have one friend, and you can do something creative.
A dad called me to chat about his emptiness that wasn’t caused by a silent house, but by the thoughts of NOW WHAT? Soon his son is heading to college and time is up. He said, TIME IS UP? I AM TRAPPED? Grieving came up. Tears fell. He needed a safe good cry and who doesn’t? A little light beamed through the thick of it when he dropped into how well he had loved his son and that the love would anchor them.
How do you handle a disappointing day? What gratitude can lift you even for a moment? “You are grateful that you……” Sometimes what worked for a lift doesn’t work and that is normal. You just don’t have the energy to shift.
That is ok too. If you can’t get your tears to fall and you need a good cry, turn on music or watch a movie to induct those tears. We all need to grieve changes. You won’t be forgotten.
Focus back on yourself and ask, WHAT do you want to do that would nurture you? ARE your expectations fantasy these days? HAVE you forgotten to make an inner connection with the bigger picture of your life? CAN you make peace with not knowing what you want to do or be and continue on your journey without being critical of yourself? Do you need some cheese and bread topped with jam or new pair of cozy socks? What about complaining, whining, tantruming? Seriously, we all do it.
Disappointments happen. Who wouldn’t be feeling stuck when disappointments continue and don’t beam any visible light?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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