Changes stop us whether for a good change or challenging. Some parents I speak with say they RISE UP no matter what and then collapse. The collapse shows itself in anxiety, fatigue, isolation, and depression. They wish they had a way to prepare so they wouldn’t hurt or feel off from who they usually are. I can relate.
I think a sure preparation is to plan for inward time… refreshing time.
You can’t prevent feeling what you will feel. You sometimes get a heads up that a challenge is heading your way, like loss, but feelings are still going to pour out of you. This photo is from an early morning drive I took to the beach. I needed to refresh. The bird just reminded me that we do move on. The sound of the waves were so loud at first , shocking, like a sudden change, and then I fell into it.
Do you make time to curl in after being on a go go go schedule or care-taking or loss? Do you feel like you can’t stop the train from running down the tracks until brakes screech?
Jen called to talk about her tears that Spring Break is over. She loved being back in the daily mother role and dreaded started over again separate from her son and her role. Transitions are wobbly. You feel this vibrancy at home and connection. Then silence… a void.
You know you will move on , you just wish it would get easier each time
Sometimes that doesn’t happen. The worst is when you had a bad night sleep.
Over and over parents and boomers share what helps them is to slow down when they have RISEN UP and to have a plan of something comforting and uplifting.
I feel better when I get quiet and into nature. Nature holds me.
I hope you find comfort when transitioning.
Share how you moved on or through the collapse. You can email me, natalie@emptynestsupport.com or post a comment here. We are building a community of ongoing support.
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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