My daughter lives too far away for us to get together this year. Sweet mom died. Are you in this emptiness for Mother’s Day?
What is on your wish list to celebrate your devotion to your children? One mom bravely told me she doesn’t mean to sound ungrateful but this year she doesn’t have to entertain for her mom or mother in law. She wants a surprise. Her fear is nothing special will happen that day when the world is celebrating moms unless she gives hints or has a backup plan.
I think a backup plan wouldn’t hurt. Number one, she wants her children to call and say sweet things about how great she is as a mom and even tell her a story of something she did for them. I suggested she pop them an email with those ideas. Children don’t think like adults, yet.
Her hubby really wants to do something and at the same time, he has no idea what to plan. She laughed at him and said, “GOOGLE IT.”
Another mom said her hubby got her a new iron last year. Honestly, an iron.
She put it in the front seat of his car the next morning because she wanted to have a fun day and not deal with it then.
Robes…how many do you really need?
So what are you thinking? Make a plan so the day doesn’t surprise you with loneliness and loss. Ask yourself more than once what you really want to do that day. You get to change your mind and do whatever pops in on that Sunday. Loneliness and loss might emerge and you have something to choose if you feel like it, later.
One mom likes to look at her scrapbooks and movies of her children while her hubby brings coffee and pancakes in bed.
The day might surprise you with unexpected tears of memories and losses.
Let the tears remind you of love. You just can’t plan tear time. If you are alone, how about a movie? I know restaurants might be depressing with all the sweeties dressed up and gifts for mom at the tables. I say, don’t go there. Bring in comfort food. Call your children if they don’t call. Call a niece or nephew and share a story about them.
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THIS IS A PICTURE OF? If you guess I will give you a free 15 minute telephone consultation. Email me your guess, Natalie@emptynestsupport.com
More later about Mother’s Day…make a plan to honor the sacrifice and joy you have brought your children. Write yourself a love letter about what a great mom you are and any stories that pop into your memory.
Take care,
Natalie
Los Angeles
818 763-0188
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
My mother is far away, my chidren even further. I’m not my husband’s mother, although I feel like it sometimes. I will go for a run and work in my garden, this sounds like a perfect mother’s day to me. Thank you for the suggestions.