A sweet mother called and said, “Tell me what is going on with me and how to fix it?” She isn’t the only mother in tears or father weeping wondering, how did we get here? How is it we are empty nesters and sad? We always knew they would leave home but we did not expect to have sadness so deep.
I, too, went through Empty Nest and now my daughter is a college graduate, living in another city rather than home town. There are still times I miss the way our relationship was which actually is a reminder to me that there will be moments of missing the mommy call from the other room, the school parties and parent socials, the sports and theater, the school friends studying over here and staying for dinner, the looking for the special dress and so much more. We miss what we love. Being a mom is like no other hat I wear and you mom, or dad, know it is a bond and commitment you love and hate at times. What I hope you remember is, IT IS NORMAL TO MISS WHO YOU LOVE. IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL VULNERABLE AND SAD. We just never heard people talk about this sadness or how they coped or what changed for them in positive ways. Vulnerability about family feelings seem to be private and they don’t have to stay behind the curb.
I wish I could tell you three ways to fix the sudden tears, inertia, checking over and over for an email, text, or phone message, worry, wondering , What’s Next for you. There isn’t a road map or rule book. There is support so you don’t have to go through the journey alone. There is a joy and freedom on the other side of grief.
Empty nest is unique because there is no family like yours.
It helps to:
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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