Look for something to add beauty to your transition days. For me, it is flowers and photos. What is it for you that helps during changes besides for the softest Kleenex during a well needed deep cry, over and over or comfort food like Mac and Cheese?
I start my day in my small garden looking for a beauty to bring inside at eye’s view. Beauty reminds me of the bigger picture of life and the mystery. I honestly believe sorrowful days, losses, and the unknown won’t last forever and that is one of the ways I get through the pain and disappointment.
– I acknowledge the good I have passed on to others.
– I massage my feet and hands.
– I watch a silly movie on TV.
– Chat with a friend
I plan something easy to look forward to which is a FARMER’S MARKET. A friend asked me, “Why do you come to the market if you don’t buy anything?”
My response,” I like seeing the children with their canvas bags and tiny hands eating apricots, and parents wiping their cheeks, and people with their dogs sitting sipping coffee. I love the surprise, like the black beets and sweet limes. People are happy and chatty at the markets. They share a recipe and say “Oh that vendor has the best cherries. Go get some.”
I remind myself to not need any answers today. Stay open. Notice what I am interested in.
I let myself be tearful or angry.
I ask for help like the time I sent five postcards with the question, WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD BE WHEN I GROW UP with my return address and stamp on the card.
I tell myself, STOP IT. When my mind is running and I am tripping over the chatter that is repetitive like a hamster on a wheel, I just tell myself, STOP IT. Believe it or not, that works for me.
I review where I am in and out of balance. What needs my attention which could be health, doctor appointments, relatives, creativity, and spirituality.
I ask for help. I know I said this before and it needs repeating. Help.
We forget to spend money when we think we can solve the questions ourselves. Am I solving the questions? How long will I go without picking up the phone and making an appointment with someone who can advise me?
I remind myself how I make decisions by looking at decisions I made in the past.
Who am I now? Who am I not? Who do I need to become in this next chapter of life?
I turn to the arts for healing whether that is writing, photography, museum time, collages, pastel drawings.
WHAT DO YOU DO? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WOULD DO?
Take good care,
Natalie
natalie@emptynestsupport.com
818-763-0188
Los Angeles, CA.
Call for a private telephone consultation. Ask how to have a support group in your area.
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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