When you are reaching out for someone to connect with you or crying for the missing of your children who are never home or moved away, do you think howling helps? Have you tried it?
Summer Solstice might open that voice in you. Warm nights and time outside.
Most parents feel so guilty crying or complaining. They attach shame to it or compare themselves with others whose lives are worse. Your life is yours and it matters. Feelings are feelings and not the all of you. You have an orchestra inside and different keys get hit without planning. Let it be what it is for now. Plan something just for you and ask someone to help you.
Who wouldn’t be howling when you are under a moon you don’t recognize. You have never been here before in this life transition, so go ahead and let yourself cry. Your life does get better in time. Each family is different in how they grieve based on their life experiences and relationship with their children.
Empty Nest is a milestone of what you loved for decades and now are forced to shift out of and learn a new role with your children. Parents have called me the day after the wedding, thinking they were fine and now feel finality. They call after they drop off the rental car from their child’s college town, shocked, after all the buildup, details, decisions, that now, they are flying home knowing their child’s room is too clean and empty.
Telling our stories is healing. Listening to each other is connecting. I hope you enjoy the warmth of summer and the pride in being a parent day in and day out and trust you will find new meaning.
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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