Parents packed up their college kids, again, and said goodbye, after a great winter break together. Our support group shared that even though they have done this before, tears still fell. Some said they held back tears, while others just didn’t want to stop the sudden drop. All were grateful to be sitting together, sharing their stories and hope for, what’s next.
Reflection of what worked, what was unrealistic, and what was a challenge, is an ongoing journey. Now they hope to get into nature for easy hikes and ponder their new role as parents and as women.
Letting go over and over is easier when you have women on a similar path to understand the unknowns and the hopes.
One mom, again, hopes to stay away from her son’s Facebook because it either punches her buttons what he is doing, along with the photos she sees, or she slips and says something about what he is doing because she read it on Facebook. The computer is so seductive, isn’t it?
Another mom is taking a sculpture class, while two others are wondering what new career would be a fit for them. Care-taking her mom is another’s challenge. Relationship and moving, faces a mom because of her being separated. Over- scheduled or under scheduled sits in the room of exploration. Then, of course, as women, there is the ongoing chat and laughter about losing those five pounds and being more active.
Bottom line, it is so much fun to be together no matter what we are exploring or laughing about, as we walk this ever changing role as parents and women.
How was your winter vacation with your family?
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
Boy you hit the nail on the head with me! I have two teen age daughters 17 and 19 and this past fall the oldest went away to college. My relationship with my girls is beyond close. I have had a very hard time dealing with my oldest leaving (she’s 8 hours drive away) and my youngest being a high school junior. This past fall was an emotional roller coaster for all of us. Not knowing where she was, all the time, everyday was difficult. I’ve always encouraged my girls to be curious, explore everything and always ask questions. So when my college freshman really started to follow my advice, i could barely stand it! Sure i wanted her to do all these things but I thought she’d discuss it with me first and ask for advice, hahahaha, doesn’t work that way! I didn’t think i’d survive until Winter break. But I did and what a wonderful reunion our family had! It was perfect, honestly in every way. And then it was time for her to go back to school. I was surprised that this time she was the one crying and I was smiling and hugging her, reassuring her that this was going to be an awesome year and she is going to be so happy and successful! Well, so far so good! She recently pledged a sorority, was accepted into the Honors college and her grades are outstanding! She’s happy, loves school and friends, and I am MISERABLE!! I only seem to focus on the fact that my younger daughter will be gone soon and then what??? I am 47 and have loved being their mom more than anything else I’ve ever done it my life. I have the most blessed life, from the wonderful husband , to my girls, very close relationships with my parents and siblings, a a group of awesome friends to round it all out! Why then am I paralyzed with the fear that if I’m not being someones mom, Im not being anything at all??