It’s not about the kids. It’s me. I thought my life would be different now. I thought I would have a partner that wanted to be fun. Those are the words a woman shared with me and said I could share here.
Have you had that voice in your head?
She knew all about …do what makes you happy….stop waiting for him….you can’t change anyone but yourself….you saw the signs before marriage.
Knowing in your head, all the truths, doesn’t take away the tears. She was young and wondered if it was time to get out of this relationship.
What she needed was to talk and talk. She wanted to weep and felt too vulnerable. Then the tears fell. She let me hold one hand as she wiped her face with the other. She let me put a blanket over her.
She doesn’t hold back at home, expressing to her husband. He gets it. He is sorry. He is who he is for now, is what she shared with me.
She sits in the unknown. Her practice is to be sweet to herself. Be present with the question, notice what she notices as she checks in with herself five times during the day about her thoughts and feelings, and to not push the waters for solutions.
She is a solution person. Quick and detailed. She chose the practices when I offered five.
We chatted with the part of her that wasn’t happy all the time. Tears. Disappointments from friends who didn’t reach towards her. Career that didn’t praise her. Kids clinging to her legs and arms. Then came laughter.
Of course there is more to her inner chat. What she learned about herself was that she has a way of weeping and then finding humor WHEN SHE STOPS and goes within to that resource. She chose to close her door during the day and go within.
No solutions today.
What is happening for you that you didn’t expect? How kind are you to yourself?
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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