A woman shared with me that after journaling, talking, walking, and deep prayer on her knees after our sessions, she had no idea she could handle not having answers of what to do. She wanted me to talk about this as long as I didn’t mention her name. Her personality is a go getter, make it happen and make it happen now. NOW.
She became so identified with the problem solver and doer that she made no room for the unknown. She filled it. She rushed into a void. Through deeper conversations that she allowed me to anchor for her, she smiled. “I have more to learn about myself. I thought I knew me well until this pain left me with no answers. I felt trapped because I couldn’t get busy. I couldn’t get over the pain. I couldn’t stop feeling hurt. Yes, this pain, for the first time, gave me the chance to still like me and not have answers. I’m ok now.”
When you allow yourself compassion and curiosity, not having answers, yet, won’t drown you. Being right where you are with challenges and holding your hand, as well as, allowing someone to help you, is a solution.
There is a gift in not knowing. It takes you out of your routine and opens you to new parts of yourself. Parts of you go dormant for good reason. You can call them up and get to know them.
One woman called on her inner artist who she left behind in third grade. She asked, “What do you think I can do with purse making? Can I add more to the purse decorations or keep them as they are with the simple straw weavings? This idea of talking to your inner third grade artist sounds silly and guess what… silly is freeing.
What do you want to bring to the surface that supports you? We have never been taught how to make friends with the unknown. All of us will sit with no answers at some time of our life. Why not get to know that part of you that is ok with no answers for today.
You can walk or sit and have a chat with the part of you that is fine with the unknown. Here is a practice: “HI THERE, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS COMFORTABLE WITH NO ANSWERS. WHAT CAN YOU TEACH ME TODAY?” Then, you softly listen or sense what is delivered to you.
Keep practicing. Yes, more than once a day. A relationship with your inner wisdom will connect with you.
A joy of life is to keep getting to know more about who you are and who you are not. Then you have the fun of gathering what you need inwardly and in the outer world.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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