Changes, like empty nest, bring up past losses and worries. Your inner critic may have a feast saying things in your head that aren’t true.
Our group shared what worries them:
1. Not hearing from my kids for weeks
2. Not feeling important/needed
3. Lose of interest in my partner
4. Lack of passion
5. No sex drive at this stage of life
6. Being lonely
7. Finances not being enough for my future
8. Health limitations that will make me feel old and not able to do what I love
9. Being forgotten
10. Closing in on myself
11. Lack of community
12. Holiday traditions being over
13. Downsizing and not like small spaces
14. Not reading as much since my vision is not as good
15. Night driving is not fun anymore
16. Liking chocolate and bread too much
17. Care taking my parents
18. Drinking on the weekends too often
19. Saying yes when I need to say no thanks
20. Being hard on myself
Each of us shared ways we could shift that inner worrier.
1. Number one trust you can handle the losses and fears. They won’t eat you up.
2. Get outside for a walk.
3. Call a friend or research online something fun to do, like visiting a garden or nursery full of colors and textures.
4. Breath in and out seven times in a row
5. Let yourself weep
6. Ask for help
7. Practice new wellness skills like meditation, swimming, meatless once a week, doing something new for your brain, mentoring
8. Write what you love to do and read it weekly
9. Love the life you have for now. Really be compassionate with yourself and shift when you aren’t.
10. Feelings are feelings. They aren’t the all of you and they aren’t always what is actually true.
What do you worry about and what has helped you?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (310) 454-0040
Los Angeles
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
I wasn’t at your wonderful group but I would say absolutely yes to almost every item on your list! It is very comforting to see my feelings and sad moments about my very recently empty nest are shared. Even emptier as a single mother. Both sons left at once for college this August. So bittersweet…happy for them…fighting back my tears.
The loss of holiday traditions just hit me hard last week on my birthday— we always make a breakfast in bed on our birthdays since they were little little boys bringing me soggy Rice Krispies thru last year when my youngest brought me a little cake he made at 6am. This year -so different– I spent a lovely day with a friend but I had my cell phone in hand hoping all day to just get calls from them….. My oldest called at 3 and my youngest ( I think prompted by text from his brother) did call at day’s very end…..how different …made me feel like my grandmother who lived for 1 minute phone calls from us. It makes me realize my October birthday will always be different now(that’s midterm time) —I know the way it’s supposed to be….but I still miss that little wonderful ritual… another painful reminder they are gone, successfully launched, and not looking back.