My GIFT from making the choice to MOTHER ANOTHER is, it took me out of my rapid MIND and into my wiser HEART. That is ongoing for me. My daughter is my teacher of what love IS and ISN’T. Love is complex, a mystery, and worth it.
Mothering sits me in the unknown and invites me to shift gears. It calls me to dig for parts of me I haven’t met yet that have been waiting and waiting to be heard. Other times, it’s a fun, easy day, or gratefully, an ordinary day.
I have sacrificed, chosen, and deeply cared for another, which of course I thought I could do, and yet, do you really know that until you are with that person day after day, year after year?
Many mothers have shared with me their happiness, regrets, and tears of parenting. Thank goodness we have each other, even when we live cities and countries apart. We need the village. We need to share our stories and ask for help. We need to ask questions and hear suggestions. We need to talk about what we are good at, what hasn’t arrived in our lives that we thought would by now, what we lost.
What might we be open to adding and what painfully do we need to hug goodbye. Deep MEANINGFUL questions about our precious lives. I know some struggle with, WHERE IS THAT TRIBE OF PEOPLE? I HAVE BEEN LONGING TO BE WITH THEM.
I want to acknowledge that some of our mothers are gone now, and some mothers weren’t very good at mothering. We feared we wouldn’t be either, maybe by not being available or being the “helicopter mom.” We weep about that loss. We weep about PARTNERING that doesn’t happen as you thought it would. We weep about NOT GETTING the kind of child you wanted. I am beyond grateful for the COURAGE and time women sit together, call together, be together to dive deeper into conversations that add meaning to their life and ours. We feel the belonging.
Wishing you celebrations of how you have loved your children and what parenting has given to you.
Natalie
PS – How many of you have had to remind your kids SUNDAY IS MOTHER’S DAY AND YOU WANT A HAND WRITTEN LOVE NOTE?
HA HA
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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