Hi,
I am not new at empty nest. My son is a junior in college now. I’m his mother. I think I will just always say, “I’m his mother,” but it is starting to sound vacant since no one is listening. I don’t even listen to myself when I say that.
I haven’t found the I’m……..For awhile I volunteered and that was good but I don’t want to do that now. I do work because I have to.
I’m ok with not filling in my own blank yet of what I am. I get that it is my journey. What is difficult for me is this new role with my son.
I still want him to call more often and I know he won’t. That doesn’t take away wanting to hear what’s up, but I understand he has to do his own thing. This shift of role is what doesn’t come easily for me. I am trying to make that ok that it just isn’t easy. I don’t text him like I use to but I do check my phone to see if he sent any message and I check my emails. I am his mother. See I am still saying that and thought I wouldn’t. It is just that I am in a hurry to say more about me . I don’t expect to ever not say I am his mother. I just want to be more and I want to shift thinking mother first and be more of me and then mother.
Not easy to express but I am so glad to be with other empty nesters.
Thank you,
Meredith
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
My son is also a junior and I am still finding it hard to deal with him being gone. He is my only child and I am a single mother. In the past I looked forward to having him home on the holidays or for the summer. This year however his apartment is off campus and its a year lease; therefore, he may be home even less.
Meredith, I feel the same about it being a journey. I felt that my son onto his next phase I should know what I wanted to do. In the past there were things I wanted to pursue but a lot has changed as I’ve got older. I am still trying to figure it out as well. I committed to assisting with PSR for the school year working with 2nd graders. It gives me something to do and somewhere to be.
I was a young mother so my friends are not going through this. Their kids are only in elementary school. I am happy that there is support on line with others that are dealing with this!
Take care,
Dawn