I am Katherine, a mom, empty nester, and woman of the age of being a boomer. I partner and work. I have been looking at how to change myself. Parts of me I admire and parts just need to leave.
A mistake I made and don’t really feel badly about, is that I waited too long to start a creative project for a new business and then lost interest. I waited over a year because I kept getting critical of myself. I wore myself out.
In a nutshell, I wait to make plans, to go on interviews, to have fun. I don’t want to wait anymore. I realized this is how I act so I decided to ask for help.
I am not waiting anymore. Sometimes I get red in the face because I am nervous or embarrassed but that is ok. Sometimes I don’t want to drive alone or come back in the dark, but I do. Sometimes my partner and I don’t want to do the same thing, so we don’t.
In the beginning of empty nest, I waited to see if my kids wanted to have dinner or see a movie when they came home for a weekend. Oh boy was that disappointing. I don’t expect that anymore and yet they usually have some meal with me because they want to, not have to.
I am just not sweating the small stuff like I did. I won’t remember that drama when I am seventy so I plan to pick a life that I will remember.
I didn’t have a great family growing up, but I am the grown up now. I am a good mom and good person. It sounds common to say, but for me, I am working on saying the good in life. I am good and make plans for good things in my life. Bad things will come in my window, but I am learning they aren’t for always and I can handle them without being perfect. Good enough is good enough.
I know this getting older thing and being an empty nester isn’t just happening to me. That helps me get unstuck. I lost a community and had to start over. One friend is good enough.
Thank you for allowing me this safe place to express.
Katherine
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
I commend you for your openness and honesty.
I logged in here a lot when our only son was a rising-freshman and less when he was a rising sophomore.
As I log in tonight, it’s his last night home for Spring Break as a mid-soph, and he’s told us he’ll be staying in his collegiate city this summer on an internship — which I fully encouraged. But blessing it doesn’t mean I won’t miss him in that stupid, aching way that mothers do.
There’s a new “break” and I recognize now that EACH break is a new facet in the transition. And that’s why I logged in tonight, in March of 2010. I need more help.
I have no words for you, other than to say thanks and to offer support. Some months from now, another mom will see this in the archive — or in the coming days some mom will see this “new” material — and be comforted by your commmitment to share.
Thank you.
Liz Matt
NJ