How do you keep your perspective during the holidays? A woman asked me that question on a telephone consultation. She recently divorced. Tears will still fall and disappointments of how she thought her life would be.
1. Cry when you need to cry. Who wouldn’t, especially during the expectations and images of holiday.
2. Self-care. What nurtures you?
3. Who can you call for support? It is ok to call and ask if you can join them for anytime over the holiday. You would allow someone to join you.
4. Remind yourself that you get to choose how you want your holiday to be this year. Often our past freezes us out of choices in the moment.
5. Plan something ahead of time so that you can look forward to that time of celebration. Check what is happening in your city and see if you want to join in on that event.
6. Perspective means not to jump too far ahead or live in the past. It is a couple of days in December, not your whole life.
7. You have impacted people throughout your life in a positive way. Who are those people?
8. If your holidays are looking less than how you wish they would be, use this time as a retreat for you. I know that sounds lonely. If you can shift your perception to loving the life you have for now, it won’t be as sad.
A woman called and we figured out what she needed was movies, sleep, take in meals so she felt like she was on vacation and not cleaning, walks in nature, journaling time, newspaper reading at a local cafe, and visiting pet adoption locations.
If you are having visitors, you don’t need to be the entertainer and cook. Let them know you have a habit of over giving. You want to have fun with them and not always be the leader. Ask what ideas they have to make the holiday fun and restful.
May your holiday deliver a happy surprise and meaningful connections.
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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