Many share that line when they call for support as they are going through divorce, career shift, retiring, empty nest, illness, or finding new meaning. “I thought I was a grown up. I feel like an adolescent.” ” I had no idea I would stay in my stretch pants for days and flip the channels. I just weep at odd times, like when I am at the market. I need to find something meaningful to do, I am excited and still I feel so tired and worried.”
I am sure you could share what surprises you when you are going through losses or happy times that put you in an unknown territory.
Here are a few tips:
1. Change is an invitation to go within and get to know more about who you are and aren’t. A few minutes in the morning and evening, asking how you are feeling and what you need, keep you connected to you.
2. Dormant parts of you will emerge and other inner parts long to have a say in your life. Anger and wisdom are within, as well as, creativity and sensuality. Parts want to support you. Parts want to misguide you. You have a smorgasbord to get to know.
3. Practice not looking back too often nor ahead too often. Present moment is a gift. It will surprise you how it supports your past thoughts and your future anxieties. FEEL YOUR FEET ON THE FLOOR. LIGHT A CANDLE AND LOOK AT THE FLAME.
4. Stop yourself from being critical of you. I am sure you are doing the best you can for now. Change is so vulnerable.
5. ASK FOR SUPPORT. You would be there for someone. Find something to connect with, even if it is on the computer.
6. Put beauty inside your home. You decide what looks beautiful to you and give that to yourself.
7. Remind yourself this won’t last forever. Calmness will return. Trust takes practice.
I know this sounds different. “HAVE A CHAT WITH THE UNKNOWN” You could begin with, “I never like not knowing what to do or how to get out of feeling terrible. Do you have any suggestions for me?” Then listen, listen, listen. Do this three times a day. You are building a relationship with your inner world. Some call it meditation. Some call it time with self. Ask for inner help, as well as outer help. Try not to isolate. Think less and reach for help.
Take good care,
We are building a community where we can be met right where we are.
Let me know how I can help you or your community.
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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