Who is minding the store when you are stuck? Is it the inner pusher, the critic, the perfectionist, the bully, the little one, or a combination? Well, you know what I mean.
In our support groups and private sessions, we shared what it is like being STUCK. Losses come up, dreams died and won’t get birthed, people disappointed, communities are gone – those are some of the deeper issues that emerge when you feel stuck. You are trying to make decisions and old memories cloud your step forward.
Doubt is normal. We all laughed about that reality and yet we don’t like it. Most want to have a plan and do it.
Fear of the unknown keeps tightening our throats. We don’t know where to begin. We can’t see choices. Choices we made didn’t work out. We have old parts that feed the doubt.
Weeping is a good thing. When you are sitting where you didn’t want to sit and no one is holding your hand, loneliness is sad. Even when you receive loving comfort, you are sad. Sad because you don’t have answers and fear they won’t appear for a long long time. You don’t want to suffer.
Truth is, suffering is a part of life. We just judge it too much, don’t you think? “Oh your problem is nothing compared to others, so stop being sad.” Who is that inner voice in your head or is it someone in your life that tells you that?
Daily practice: Make friends with the UNKNOWN. “Hello unknown, what do you want me to know today? You have more practice in not knowing than I do, so gently tell me something”
Sit where you are comfortable and ask that question. Listen and notice what you feel when you begin a relationship with the unknown part of you. Notice. It is helpful to ask that question three times a day. We think once is enough and research shows it is not. Research actually says to ask five times a day.
Getting to know more about being in the unknown when you are in a transition, can calm you, teach you, and guide you towards what you want and need.
Example of what might come up in these short chats with your unknown:
• You have worried before and that is just a jump start for you. Don’t kill the worrier. Just go past it.
• This is a new growing place for you. Growth is good.
• You don’t like feeling vulnerable because you think it is so big. Don’t make it big. Make it a line in your story of the day.
Begin a conversation with the UNKNOWN. See what you learn about you.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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