Whether solo or with a friend, summer invites you to get out and see what you haven’t had the chance to explore. Our groups, which sometimes meet on the telephone, all agreed, that two days of getting out of town, lifted their spirits while in a transition. They laughed at how some decisions are easy, like getting out of town, and others feel spin them into exhaustion.
Here is a short list of what they have been doing:
1. Local gardens
2. Kayaking
3. Luxury hotel night
4. Always food and wine where the locals eat
5. Golf courses
6. Lakes and beaches
7. Games on the lawn like Apple to Apple or horse shoes
8. Train rides
9. Reading in hammocks
10. Dancing
11. Outside concerts
12. Rooftop bars with twinkle lights
13. Farmer’s markets
14. Summer sales
15. Photographing
16. Hiking
17. Sleeping outside
18. Meditating on a rock by water
19. Yoga on the beach
20.and what have you been doing for summer fun?
You aren’t the only one who forgets to give yourself PERMISSION to HAVE FUN, which might be, oh guilt oh guilt, watching tv in the day and eating popcorn in bed.
Your practice, this week, could be to plan a fun day with yourself and another day with one person. Do you think you will? Leave the guilt voice back home and turn up the giggle. Most of us are so productive and generous with others, we forget our own mirror.
HAPPY SUMMER,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
I took my group on a Sunday silent walk. We walked with the word SURPRISE. When we got back we shared what surprised us today.
Here are a few comments:
• I never noticed beauty so close to the dirt.
• I was so relaxed walking in nature with one word in my mind.
• I am going to keep looking for beauty daily.
• Beauty does inspire me.
• I am taking my repetitive fears and dumping them in the garbage.
• I am going to make a collage of torn photos just like you did and see the beauty.
• I need to make time to just walk in nature and not jog.
• I don’t have to know where I am going.
There were more shares from our walk and those are ones I want to share with you today. What word would you choose to have for a day that could walk with you? What surprises do you hope to receive that make you smile? Simply begin. Yes, you hear me say that all the time. Begin something.
Getting to know more about who you are, and who you aren’t, makes new choices, actually fun. You discover what is a good thing, what is missing, and what surprise could come your way without your having to fix yourself, stress about not changing or push too hard. So what word would you like to walk with for a day?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
People call and ask me what to do next? Rarely do they ask about how to have fun. They don’t make time for fun days and they don’t have it on their list.
When we do talk about the value of fun, they always say, “Oh yeah, I forgot.”
No matter what your finances, get outside. Take a short road trip. Visit museums. Walk in nature. Plant something and care for it. Baby-sit a dog. Listen to outside concerts in the park.
I know some of you say, “Well, I am alone and I don’t want to go alone.” I understand and why miss out on fun. You can leave early. Get tastes of the world all around you.
Mark something on your calendar that would be fun for you.
My friend is taking a one day class on how to make jewelry at her local park. Another woman is volunteering at camp for arts and crafts time.
A gentleman decided to learn to cook and hopes to meet women, of course. He will , won’t he? Now where are the men for women? Are they at your yoga classes? That is another blog.
When is the last time you put your toes in the ocean? When did you play in a swimming pool with a beach ball? What about renting a bike?
Sometimes we over think and never get out the door.
Here is to play time in the beauty of summer and these late warm nights for star gazing.
Mark your calendar for FUN….
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
I am asked that question over and over. I know they can. I know I can. I have my history to remind me. You have yours if you make time to sit with you or walk with you and remember times you shifted.
It is helpful to discover what your motivation is for the change. Is it fatigue, boredom, clock is ticking, loneliness, lack of meaning, hurting others, etc.?
What I also notice is it takes time for people to ask for help AND people over think, rather than BEGINNING. Some tell themselves they can figure it out themselves, they don’t want to spend the time or money or they have a bad track record and have lost motivation. Your head is spinning you in the unhealthy cycle. Jump off that track that hasn’t been working for you and BEGIN a new direction of behaviors.
I could tell you stories of how people begin, how they stopped over thinking and spinning, how they make better decisions now, how they listen more and PAUSE in life, how they feel lighter and giggle more. I love story telling. I will share those another time. For now, here are a few ideas to ponder:
• What are you telling yourself daily that may be fantasy vs. reality?
• Who do you want to help you?
• What do you need to begin?
• What’s the worst thing that could happen and what’s the best?
• Do you see yourself as resilient, one who falls and stands tall over and over? Why yes? Why no?
• Who are you jealous of today? Who might be jealous of you? How can that shift your perception about making a small change?
• What do you adore about yourself?
We all have our stories. Who is ready to write a new chapter? Who wants a hand to hold as they begin? Ask someone for help, your sibling, friend, therapist, clergy, partner, co -worker. Pick someone you know who is trustworthy. Pick someone who is good at motivating and accountability. BEGIN.
My clients want to make me monogrammed towels that say BEGIN…. Yes, it is one of my favorite actions.
Let me know how you are doing. It is actually fun to BEGIN and learn more about who you are and who you are not. Then, you get to gather new inner and outer resources to yes, BEGIN…. OK, you can send me a monogrammed towel…
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
Does the memory of your dad bring a smile? It does for me. In our group, many of us have lost our dad. Still Father’s Day is around the corner. Some treasure just this one more time with dad, Sunday, at their house, wondering if it will be the last Father’s Day together. Gratitude for another time to simply sit in the same room with dad even if he doesn’t have much to say.
Other parents love watching their little ones run to the door to let grandpa in, “Grandpa, we have a present for you.” Parents will visit homes and hospitals, call in the morning for sweet hellos to dad who lives out of town, sisters who call their brothers asking,” how is Father’s Day going for you? I think you are a good dad.”
Grieving will sit at the table on Sunday, as well. Who wouldn’t be sad missing someone they love or didn’t have enough time with or wish for something that didn’t come around from dad?
Calendar holidays are pauses … surprising memories, appreciations, chances to be accepting this time, and special treats to share. My dad loved golf and chocolate pie on a Sunday.
I adored my dad. He was an anchor for me. He died. I deeply wept and still do at times. Loving someone is a lifetime gift. Knowing they loved you is a treasure. Tears will fall. Love will do that to you.
Fathers, you deeply matter in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Enjoy your role. Let them know what you love about them and what you love about yourself. Everyone likes a good story. Go for it. All of us can share stories about our dad with a friend or partner, sibling, or children.
Well, you know I love rituals; storytelling is part of the ritual. What rituals do you do on FATHER’S DAY?
Happy Father’s Day,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
A woman shared with me that after journaling, talking, walking, and deep prayer on her knees after our sessions, she had no idea she could handle not having answers of what to do. She wanted me to talk about this as long as I didn’t mention her name. Her personality is a go getter, make it happen and make it happen now. NOW.
She became so identified with the problem solver and doer that she made no room for the unknown. She filled it. She rushed into a void. Through deeper conversations that she allowed me to anchor for her, she smiled. “I have more to learn about myself. I thought I knew me well until this pain left me with no answers. I felt trapped because I couldn’t get busy. I couldn’t get over the pain. I couldn’t stop feeling hurt. Yes, this pain, for the first time, gave me the chance to still like me and not have answers. I’m ok now.”
When you allow yourself compassion and curiosity, not having answers, yet, won’t drown you. Being right where you are with challenges and holding your hand, as well as, allowing someone to help you, is a solution.
There is a gift in not knowing. It takes you out of your routine and opens you to new parts of yourself. Parts of you go dormant for good reason. You can call them up and get to know them.
One woman called on her inner artist who she left behind in third grade. She asked, “What do you think I can do with purse making? Can I add more to the purse decorations or keep them as they are with the simple straw weavings? This idea of talking to your inner third grade artist sounds silly and guess what… silly is freeing.
What do you want to bring to the surface that supports you? We have never been taught how to make friends with the unknown. All of us will sit with no answers at some time of our life. Why not get to know that part of you that is ok with no answers for today.
You can walk or sit and have a chat with the part of you that is fine with the unknown. Here is a practice: “HI THERE, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS COMFORTABLE WITH NO ANSWERS. WHAT CAN YOU TEACH ME TODAY?” Then, you softly listen or sense what is delivered to you.
Keep practicing. Yes, more than once a day. A relationship with your inner wisdom will connect with you.
A joy of life is to keep getting to know more about who you are and who you are not. Then you have the fun of gathering what you need inwardly and in the outer world.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
Congratulations, Parents and Students. I love seeing all the smiles and hugs across campus that seem to beam …”We not only did it…. We stand tall today in appreciation for all that helped us” …Now we enter the world with new shiny shoes and hope to step forward, knowing we will fall and STILL, stand again.
Parents, I want you to celebrate all you are and still will be for your children. Around the corner are new chapters of your life… some expected, others unexpected. It is time for you to get to know you, again. Empty time is an invitation for you to dream, reflect, refresh, and slowly ponder what matters to you NOW.
I love this time of year that reminds me of my daughter’s graduation and nephews, who gathered us in celebration of possibilities and love. The memories re-fuel joy for me and the privilege of being educated, having a job, and making choices.
Happy celebrations, families,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Maria Shriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
No matter how old you are or what the change is, honestly, you can’t fully prepare. You can comfort yourself. Self-talk, items checked off your list, and a reminder that you can get help. What is the worst that can happen AND what is the best?
You forget to ask both.
Remember your past where you weren’t sure what to do or what would happen. What worked for you and what would you shift?
Change happens over and over. You get to practice, go for it, try again, weep, stand tall, fall, and know you are loved no matter what.
I remember a woman sharing with me that her best practice when she started spinning fear in her head was to tell herself, STOP IT. THIS ISN’T HELPING YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. DO IT DIFFERENTLY.
Begin ways that comfort you. Begin little steps of doing what you haven’t before. You can climb into bed at the end of your day or in the middle.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
It’s not about the kids. It’s me. I thought my life would be different now. I thought I would have a partner that wanted to be fun. Those are the words a woman shared with me and said I could share here.
Have you had that voice in your head?
She knew all about …do what makes you happy….stop waiting for him….you can’t change anyone but yourself….you saw the signs before marriage.
Knowing in your head, all the truths, doesn’t take away the tears. She was young and wondered if it was time to get out of this relationship.
What she needed was to talk and talk. She wanted to weep and felt too vulnerable. Then the tears fell. She let me hold one hand as she wiped her face with the other. She let me put a blanket over her.
She doesn’t hold back at home, expressing to her husband. He gets it. He is sorry. He is who he is for now, is what she shared with me.
She sits in the unknown. Her practice is to be sweet to herself. Be present with the question, notice what she notices as she checks in with herself five times during the day about her thoughts and feelings, and to not push the waters for solutions.
She is a solution person. Quick and detailed. She chose the practices when I offered five.
We chatted with the part of her that wasn’t happy all the time. Tears. Disappointments from friends who didn’t reach towards her. Career that didn’t praise her. Kids clinging to her legs and arms. Then came laughter.
Of course there is more to her inner chat. What she learned about herself was that she has a way of weeping and then finding humor WHEN SHE STOPS and goes within to that resource. She chose to close her door during the day and go within.
No solutions today.
What is happening for you that you didn’t expect? How kind are you to yourself?
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
What is on your dream list? What small step can you take to move forward? When I decided to explore selling our home, my small step was to interview realtors. I let them know I only had twenty to thirty minutes and this time together was simply an exploration.
I wanted to know their marketing plan and pricing of my home. I also needed to like them. Sounds silly to say and yet, I knew the relationship between us mattered. I chose the third broker out of three. We continue to stay in touch.
Dream a dream just for you. Small dreams are satisfying, like weekly time in nature, new creative project, money set aside for a special vacation.
When you know more about who you are and who you aren’t, decisions come easier, dreams get clearer.
If you are the type of person who needs help to stop over thinking an idea, get help. If you are a leader and now want to fall back and allow someone else to lead, who can help you?
If you dream a new career, what resources do you want to begin to gather?
I remember long ago, after a serious illness, I was re-entering the world with wellness. I still didn’t feel two feet solidly on the ground. I did not leap. I stayed in touch, sometimes hour by hour with what my body was feeling and I needed right then.
Healing doesn’t go in a straight line. Change doesn’t either. You stand tall. You fall. You get back up again. No one wants to dream a dream, nor shift without support.
I am heading to teach at The Golden Door for a week (San Diego May 19-26, 2013)
If you want me to come to your community, just email or call. If you want a private session to begin whatever question you are walking, call or email to set a time that works for you. Contact information is below.
Take good care,
Natalie
“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.”
— C.S. Lewis
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
I had an experience out of town, 3000 miles from home. I was on work and fun time. When I came back home, the impact from those six days, gave me a new idea. I made a call, then another and then a final. Three interviews. I stayed curious with each person. Decision happened. I began the next action. I walked room by room. I sat. I teared up. I jumped up. I stayed up.
Long nights of preparation. Heavy lifting. Choices happened over and over. Questions asked at the table. Lists made. Calendar enlarged. Team player coming, hoping, for flattering light just before dark. Visuals happened. Print landed. Sign stood tall.
Have you guessed the leap? Yes, I put my house on the market. It sold in 14 days.
My twelve-year home, with room memories of children, husband, parents, in-laws, brother, sister, nephews, cousins, friends, Sophie the cat, work, colleagues, art salons, cooking classes, holidays with decorations, music, and layered tables of food, icing and gravy on the floor, paper ripped, fireplaces warming, sleep overs on sofas and airbeds, deep mourning from death, illness to wellness, constantly surrounded by my changing seasonal seeded garden of organic flowers, herbs, and veggies. A small swimming pool refreshed and once was visited by a mallard duck. Hardwood floors, natural light in every room, and of course, a pink bathtub that neither paint nor towels ever complimented. What can you do with a 50’s era of pink? Surrender.
Each season, I would move the furniture. Each season, I would pull in beauty that made the rooms part of nature. A rustic bowl of birch twigs and peppertree branches, glass container of daffodils and lilac, baskets of arugula and spinach with collected beach stones, heirloom and grape tomatoes surrounded by basil, sugar pumpkins on tables. Every day was candle day. Every day was music day. Food was always in the refrigerator no matter how many were home. Cooking was creative and relaxing, satisfying, even for one. No microwave. Yes, French Press for a single black morning cup. Digital camera sat by the French doors on the piano, ready for my 6 am walk in the small garden, morning moist smell, quiet, just me and the birds, and of course, Sophie, following to sip from the side of the pool. I loved the morning anticipation of what I would see and smell in the garden. I had a front-bricked garden. I would go there late afternoon. I never tired of starting my day outside. Then it was work time.
My broker educated me about staging. I didn’t think I would because I thought I had a good eye and feel for space and design. Not the same as staging, as I learned, from the stager. I truly appreciate the staging they did for our home. It delayed time to pack. Guess what; packing happens on time because movers show up.
Friday, open house for brokers. Sunday, open house for the public. Private appointments, happened, day or night. Clorox wipes in the yellow container were my go to for fast sparkle, fluffing all pillows became a routine, as well as, lights on, counters cleared. Couldn’t hide things in cupboards or the washer like I had for a last minute clean up when unexpected guests dropped by before the days of the house being on the market. Buyers open every thing that will open. I waited for my broker to text me, “green light,” which he and I planned in order to signal when I could come back home. My office was at home. Sometimes, I hid in my car, just down the street, close enough to see strangers on my land.
Drum roll…. Can you hear it….Can you feel it? Yes a solid offer. Paperwork was drawn, the to-do list was written, calendar filled; inspection, appraisal, potential buyers visiting, again, with their contractor and broker, my sharing about the neighborhood with them, and them simply being there with their team.
The next day their broker called my broker and mine called me to say, they changed their mind. They had been looking for a year. Their broker was so surprised and the change of plans. Still not sure. WHAT? Shock, disappointment, and of course, rise up again.
Fortunately, we had a backup offer. Think how happy they were when they got that call. Paper work, new couple over with their team. No packing until escrow closes. Inspection, appraisal, you know the list. Meet them. Like them. Gave them a list of restaurants, parks, parades, repair men, gardener, pool guy, my number, extra keys, heater instructions, etc.
Parts of our furniture were piled in the garage, looking like hoarders, as the stagers brought in a different look inside the house. No saying goodbye to staging until escrow closes. I said that before. Living it was trust.
I had two weeks to clean out that garage full of memories from my parents, my daughter’s school days, his parents memories, his stuff, mine, documents, books, seasonal items like lounge chairs and folding chairs. I had three pick-ups for donations, including furniture from outside and in, marked with blue tape, meaning, yes take this.
Shredder and then finally, a company to shred it all, days and nights of memories, tears from photos, letters, cards, art, gifts. Laughter from written things my daughter said, “Tooth fairy, please don’t take my tooth but leave me something. This is my first one and I want it.” Note after note, card after card that she wrote me, “You are the best mom ever.” I read those to her on the phone and we laughed. I texted her photos of them.
I texted questions like, do you really want to keep those year books? She lived and worked out of town. I had forgotten, over the years, much of what I saved.
Now I was ready to toss it. I had piles of keep, donate, not sure, trash, give to friends. I used lawn bags, see through containers, and boxes. Marked them and put that information in a notebook, in case I needed to find it in storage. Yes, storage.
It was easiest to sort and decide room by room in the house than the garage. Clothes, shoes, bags, kitchen, linens, jewelry, jackets, boots, books, art, oh and umbrellas. Do you have too many? Who needs seven? Bubble wrap and cardboard for the photos and art hanging on walls, as well as mirrors, and flat screen TV. I sold some of my photos, better than storing them. I used carry cases that are file boxes for medical and professional and legal papers that I wanted to take with me. Keep sake photos I took with me as well, in those black carry cases, especially a case for my daughter. I knew she would visit and I didn’t want those in storage. I wanted memories to be immediate after the move. Computers and cords, office needs, printer, chair, I wanted that to be with me. Me where?
So I had a pile that went with me, donations, storage items, all labeled and lined up in the rooms. The ones going in our cars were in the front courtyard, in blue IKEA bags, boxes, file carriers, see-through containers like bathroom needs. I packed the trunk of the cars, so they wouldn’t accidentally go to storage. Half of the take with bags were lined up by the door, because the trunk in our cars couldn’t hold them and we didn’t want them visible in the driveway overnight. It was fast and easy to pack it up at 6 am into both our cars. Rolled the bedding and tossed it in the back seat. Packed high and tight. I took my office supplies and work needs. That was my biggest moving concern What if I put something I needed for work, in storage? I packed in my car, memories like photos and candles and a vase. I even picked veggies from the garden and put it in the basket. I brought three plants. Where am I going?
Oh was that a process, harder than we thought it would be because of pricing, location, year lease, and style of the rental. Every weekend I hunted in the city ,(about 45 minutes), as well as, hours on the computer looking at apartments, corporate housing, bungalows, home away from home, VRBO and Craigslist. One Saturday evening, I forced myself to look again at one of the rental services. We were moving in ten days with no place to go. I was tired of looking at rentals, more than tired of packing.
I found a furnished duplex, bottom unit, in a quiet, beautiful, walking, community, not far from the beach with mountains, no smog, and trees. I emailed the host and we connected. “Yes, I will take it and for six months.” The duplex has similar to what I left, white sofas, same roses and yellow orchids in bloom, but no pink tub, still from the 50’s, so blue tile. I keep finding similarities in the duplex, to where I came from. It has been two weeks. I am smiling. Putting purchasing a house on the back burner to integrate this leap.
Entering the unknown of selling and not having a home to buy, yet, has turned out to be a good thing. Time for meandering to see and explore what matters next? What is on your leap list?
If I can help, email or call, natalie@emptynestsupport.com, 818-763-0188.
Happy Spring,
Natalie
“It’s the possibility of having dreams come true, that makes life interesting.” – Paulo Coelho
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
Whether kids come back home, or you have no children, boomers don’t want to be invisible. They want to feel that their life learning’s will be of VALUE. Talking with boomers across the country, I have not heard one say that they want to do nothing forever.
The opposite is true for them. They know they will continue to live a long life, which could be thirty more years. They don’t see themselves in rocking chairs on a porch, eating at 4:30, and asleep by 7:30. They do see themselves out and about, learning, contributing, making money, and building new friendships.
Yes, they want to travel. Yes, they want grandchildren. Yes, they want to get fit. Yes, they want to re-marry. They want to live in walking communities, part of vibrancy and all ages of people, not only boomers.
Some have gone back to school to be acupuncturist, physical therapists, teachers, and spiritual teachers. Some have opened their own businesses, like designing jewelry, organizing, wardrobe styling, house staging, stationary, tutoring, etc. Others have asked merchants in their NEIGHBORHOOD for part time work, as a step towards re-entering the work force and a way of being part of a community.
What holds people back is JUDGEMENT about themselves. “I should have found something to do already. I am too old for anyone to hire me. My skills are dusty and people will see right through my flaws. I have no idea where to begin.”
You and everyone else, has a critic voice. Take a step beyond that messenger inside your head. You also have a voice that tells you, you are valuable. Age isn’t that block. You can begin a new anytime.
At this stage of life, you can practice hearing more than one voice and telling yourself, “maybe this is true AND maybe that is true too.” Build a range of inner voices that support you. Top inner voice on your daily list is SELF COMPASSION.
Research, ask for help, be vulnerable and courageous, “I have some free time now, what help do you need?” People have shared with me that they are embarrassed to say they have free time. Why? It makes them feel like they failed, have no friends, or successful career.
They feel needy or they feel inflated. Inflated meaning, everyone should one to be with them, hire them, etc., needy meaning they are desperate for a new life which might show itself as being controlling, pushy, or talking too much.
Who doesn’t have strengths and challenges? Really, who doesn’t? Who doesn’t make mistakes? SORRY I keep doing that to you and haven’t…… THANK YOU for….. is two words, forgotten too often..
You don’t have to say YES, instantly. You can say, “let me think about that.”
I know that sounds obvious to get back to them later, and when you are hungry for CONNECTION, you forget to pause. Not pausing is another reason people don’t re-invent. They fear committing because they forget as adults that they can change their mind. You get to change your mind. Permission granted.
Go. Begin something. Begin anything and see where that leads you. What that teaches you about yourself. Begin. Change doesn’t happen if you don’t begin.
Thank your CHATTERING HEAD for occupying your time and keeping you company. Now meet a NEW PART of yourself that has been WAITING and waiting for you to listen to her/him. Sit and ask, “does anyone within have some positive feedback for me?”
As you know, I RE-INVENTED my career eight years ago. I am happy. I began with an IDEA that I put into action a week later that included a circle of seven women. I reminded myself daily, that I would rather LEARN something new, FALL, get up again, than sit in GLUE. My new career has connected me with ALL AGES of people, creativity, friendships, travel, beauty, spirituality, health, bravery, skills, and more.
Doors I thought would open DIDN’T. Doors I never imagined knocking on OPENED. I am HERE if you want to re-invent and begin, BEGIN with a small step. A step that LIFTS your spirits, as you enter an unknown.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
