My son got into the college of his choice and we have been celebrating. Now I feel a huge relief. It sounds silly, but I had this thought of accepting that I am no longer the mom he needs daily. I have good and bad days about that.
I feel like I always have to be strong for my family. I of course cry about not seeing him daily come July. At the same time, I have a tiny smile about more free time for me. I am tired.
I can’t really say much about accepting myself for who I am because I have been so busy for years that I just need to know who I am. Part of the not accepting that needs no thought is, I am getting older faster than I like.
Being a mom with kids in school makes me feel youthful. Without the kids at home, I am not sure how active I will be. I don’t mean I will be sitting at home but more that I won’t have the active energy to feed off of when the house was so full of kids and their friends.
I don’t want to just run around so the day ends faster. I want to run into me.
Does anyone else feel like this? Thank you.
Jamie
Cherry blossoms open Spring. A client shared with me that Spring insures new possibilities, but what for her? She was sad because romance is invisible.
As often as you hear it, solution of loss means tears, grieving for what is no longer with someone you loved. It is never predictable how long tears fall.
She felt betrayed by giving so much of herself to this partnership. She came to realize she gave because she loved. She believed in the commitment and the good feelings she use to have.
The shift she wants to practice is not being critical of herself for what she did or did not do in putting her voice in the room and her shoes out the door. She wants to begin a journal of what she does love about her life. She doesn’t like to write and at the same time, wants to heal. Her journal may be three or four words before bed, along with the softest box of aloe Kleenex she can find.
Her second practice is to walk her neighborhood and get coffee at the local cafe in order to be around vibrant life.
Third, she wants to find a class to learn how to make cards into a business. She is an artist.
Change of habit usually takes thirty days. You will be motivated and you will collapse. Both behaviors are normal when going through changes. What matters is to be kind to yourself no matter what, and BEGIN AGAIN. Get support.
Another client has been working on planning more fun for herself. She is now blooming with two new things that make her happy, reading to children at a local library and training to be a docent.
What do you want to bloom before the end of 2012? Who can help you? What small step can you make this week?
May the beauty of SPRING, move you forward to what matters to you today,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
One of the top reasons people don’t move on a dream I hear from clients and during workshops is, “I can’t really do this alone. I get started and do well for about two weeks and then, if things aren’t going well, I collapse.”
1. Love
2. Re-invention
3. Healthy choices
4. Spiritual practices
5. Forgiving
6. New friends
7. Creativity
8. De-clutter
9. Moving
10. Talking less and listening more
11. Valuing yourself
12. Getting a reality check on finances
13. Entertainment time
14. Working more effectively
15. Reading
The list above, of wants people have, is a lifelong add-on.
Dreams can get dropped because we stop too soon and we don’t have trusting support.
PEOPLE DONT ALLOW THEMSELVES TO RECEIVE SUPPORT. SUPPORT VALIDATES AND INSPIRES. ASK FOR HELP. Focus for a week on asking for help. Who could you call? Who wants you to be happy? Who is focused and open?
What support can you discover professionally from others? Who have you supported?
Write down daily, who you can ask for help. JUST DO IT. You would answer a need for someone else if they called. Fear of being wrong or embarrassed underlies a concern that the person you are sharing with won’t hold the information in CONFIDENCE. Let them know you want to keep this private between the two of you.
When you know what stops you from moving forward, you can course correct.
Melanie told me she just doesn’t have the time. When your want is happiness verses dullness, maybe you can find the time.
Annie shared with me that she feels unattractive these days. The help she decided to receive was going by herself to a top department store for a free make up session.
Leslie made a list of five people she would run her idea by for re-invention, asking for connections and feedback with her presentation.
Mike didn’t want dating sites online. He chose to go early for coffee, out of the house and start up a conversation.
Miranda wanted to lose weight and move forward with her health. She made a list of two healthy recipes and cooked ahead with those ingredients.
Kelly wanted to begin a real spiritual journey. She walked in nature. She practiced ten minutes of eyes closed, seated, and breathing.
Todd decided to make a daily check sheet of his happiness. His hope was to discover what brings it down and what lifts it.
These brave people allowed me to share their first names with you in the hopes of making it real that all of us have dreams and need help.
As you have read in my blogs before, my two lifetime friends are COMPASSION AND CURIOSITY. Change needs a friend. You have an orchestra of voices inside you. You can decide who needs volume up and volume down. It is fun to practice something new. Call someone.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
Some days are boring. You decide to get in your car. Not sure what you will do, you go to the familiar.
I asked my groups where do they go to have a better day and what do they do:
1. Shopping for bargains
2 Look at new cars on the market
3. Garden shops
4. The beach for a walk
5. Dog adoption
6. Bookstore
7. Hit golf balls
8. Buy a new shade of lipstick
9 .Farmer’s market
10 New cafe
11 Used book store
12 Gallery
13 Shoe store
14 Yogurt stop
15. Buy a new game board
16 Museum
17 Buy new music
18 Computer store
19 Feed the ducks
20 Read the newspaper at a café
21 Watercolor outside, usually flowers
22 Charcoal art
23 Collages to make with magazine pages
24 Photo animals in the park or shelter
25 Add to my website
I am sure you could list what lifts your spirits. What you hope to leave in the house, as you venture out, is your inner critic that says, “YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR DAYS. YOU OVER SPEND TO BE HAPPY.”
What is your inner critic saying to you and how can you shift. “This is the best I can do for today.”
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
What comes to your mind with the word unsatisfied? Work, relationships, sex, home, fun, sleep, spirituality, etc.? Good news about letting yourself feel unsatisfied is CHANGE.
When the pain is more than the gain, do you make a shift? Do you put your voice in the room? A woman shared with me that she speaks up about her thoughts and feelings. What is unsatisfying for her is no change arrives from the other person she is speaking with, time after time. At times, this behavior has diminished her voice, “Why bother? Nothing changes,” Her confidence in making change lowers. She is hurt
Under the frustration of no change is the vulnerability of feeling hurt because she doesn’t experience having any impact. Have you felt that way, too? She values herself and doesn’t feel valued by him.
Paradox lives again. On the one hand, saying what you need and not seeing change, is a practice of acceptance. “This is how she is and there hasn’t been any change in the months I have expressed myself.”
On the other hand, is self-care. No, you can’t make anyone hear you, implement change, and communicate with you. Self-care also needs to stand in the room. You want to express your feelings and needs so it doesn’t build to a fire or a brick thrown across the room.
For one woman, she discovered she needed to walk out of the room when the same behavior showed up day after day , despite her expressing herself with different words and briefly.
The story doesn’t really matter. What matters is how do you self-care when you are unsatisfied? What are you learning about you and the other person in the room? What new tools are possible to self-care?
Where is the behavior that is unsatisfying at times, also, showing up in you, as a mirror? We forget we can dig deeper and make new choices. We forget the issue is a part of us and not the all of us. We forget to ask for help.
Unsatisfied can bring explorations that lead to change. We need to keep the conversations open and out loud so we don’t bury growth. We need to be met right where we are and step away when no hand is available in that room. AND is a calming word, isn’t it?
How are you self-caring? When do you put your voice in the room and when do you not?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
Kara, asked me, as do other women, “I have habits that seem to run me. I am too predictable and at times, bored.” As you know, life is complex and we long for ease, like routine. Maybe a question is, “Are you happy?”
We seem to forget that happiness is a real need and not one to feel guilty about wanting. It does not mean you are self-centered. It might mean you are getting to know yourself better. When you self-care by knowing more about you, then you can give to others without the automatic jump into action, based on, I HAVE TO DO IT.
Notice in your day, what lifts your energy and what depletes it.
Get outside, daily, beyond just a walk to and from your parked car.
Start your day differently and see how you feel.
Be a detective of your own happiness. Jot down, at the end of a day, what you discovered.
Nurture yourself. I know you hear that all the time. Nurture could mean you don’t answer the phone just because it rang.
Ask for help to make small shifts. I remember a friend and I would send each other an inspiring quotation through email or a “CHEER LEADER” email, saying, “GO FOR IT NOW.”
We all need reminders to have fun and shift our daily and evening habits, don’t you think? What might you shift in a week that would feed your happiness?
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
Do you want the ending of the story or the beginning? Patience will give you the surprise ending that was greatly needed during loss.
My cat, Sophie, who we adopted fourteen years ago, was still chatty and cuddly, until the Monday morning she suddenly died. I wept and wept. Home alone, I don’t know where the movement in me came from, to swaddle her in a blanket, as I prepared to say goodbye. I know I was in shock, even though, I also knew she grew thinner and older weekly. Maybe, she was 91.
I had been out of town teaching for a week. I am so grateful she and I had the weekend together and she didn’t die while I was gone presenting. She waited for me.
I adore Sophie.
I miss her.
Monday morning, I wept goodbye to her, telling her all I love about her and thanking her for being part of me and my family. I for sure wanted more time with Sophie. Here is a list of what she loved to do:
Climb through the back screen door to get outside and lean over the pool to sip water.
Chase the sun to warm herself.
Jump from the table to the kitchen counter to be right where I was chopping or doing dishes.
Getting under my feet, so I would notice her
Jump from the printer to my desk and sit on my computer keyboard, blocking my work.
Knock things off my table as she dashed around playing the chase game with something I never could see
Leap on the bed, up to my chest and into my face, purring with happiness
Pitter patter across the wooden floors, as she heard the bath water running. Sophie loves water. She would sit on the side of the tub, at times lean over, and I wondered if I would have to catch her.
Sit on the laps of friends in the living room and kitchen. People cat. Mutual love.
Be at the door when I came home.
Scratch at a closed door wanting to come in.
Crawling into the refrigerator for leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner
Dragging a brown bag across the floor as her paws were caught in the paper handles
Curling into her peaceful self to be, reminding me to be.
So here is the wonderment and surprise….Sophie died in the morning. That evening, I saw a yellow butterfly in the dining room on the window. Sophie use to sit by that window on the table to look out and be warmed by the sun. I don’t know how that butterfly came into the house. I had never seen it before. It stayed on the window. I spoke to it. I told it, “I am going to open this back door where the pool is, if you want to go.” I looked for the butterfly every morning when I woke and before I went to sleep I chatted with it. One day it moved to a window, closer to the back door. It didn’t leave. I closed the door. This went on for ten wonderful days. I woke one morning, doors and windows closed, as always in the evening, and she was GONE. I still looked for her days after. I looked again today. No butterfly. I don’t know how she entered my life or how she left. I am kissed by her presence.
Have you had this kind of surprise in loss or in life when you need love?
I am grateful for Sophie and the butterfly,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
A parent called sharing she was waiting for her twins to be ecstatic from the long anticipated acceptance letters to college. She worried there would be tears with rejection letters, no choices. What parent wouldn’t want their children to get what they want? Changes can bring brightness, dullness, or shades of grey, usually the latter.
Learning to sit in the unknown is uncomfortable. You realize you don’t have a choice but to go with not knowing or to spend your time in worry. I don’t think our children or you, benefit from worry, and yet it is common for that to pop into your day. You could say, “thanks worrier for sharing, but I can handle this not knowing.’ It is a practice to be able to say THANK YOU and to LET GO and move on in your day. Thank you and I am moving on today.
A mother worries about her daughter’s health. She practices self-care and not letting the fear of illness for someone she deeply adores, affect her own health. Not easy. She weeps and cuddles in bed until an energy lifts her to begin again, despite no changes in her daughter’s health, her bright , beautiful, young daughter.
A son care-takes his aging mother and longs for how it used to be. You be the mom. I will be the son. You be strong and lead. I will grow and become. Change happens. He is over-whelmed and peeks in her room to be sure she is still breathing. He remembers his mom telling him how she peeked in his baby room to see if he was breathing.
The wedding ring sits in her drawer, discarded from her thought of a forever life with her husband. This generous, creative, happy woman is now pulled to the underworld of tears and uncertainty. No matter who said goodbye first, both will grieve for the life they thought they would share in old age, full of history and completing each other’s sentences. Not to be. Not to blame. Not to regret. She knows what the challenges were after twenty years of coupling. She just doesn’t know what will be next for her. Change happens. Shades of shock, begging, anger, dullness, clouds, and then fresh air. Never in a straight line. Her hope is that she knows she is a great woman and did all she could to love. She keeps a door open that she will have a happy life whether solo or with a partner. Her coping skill of the day, is to clean out her closets. What would be yours?
He weeps for the routine he had. He loved his job. They no longer needed him . He is a worker bee. Man who produces. Now what? Change happens. He didn’t see it coming, nor would that really help his meaningless days. Grieve for what is no longer. Write what you loved about your day and what you didn’t care for so much. List what gifts you have to give, again. Keep going. Keep going. Fall and stand again. When you feel and think, feel and think, when you let others help you, and let it be ok to change your mind, you get a routine again. Ordinary days, which for him, need to be a routine, are good days. Ordinary life is a precious life. When he was able to shift to that perception, he put on his shoes.
Change is inevitable in life. Let’s talk about it. Let’s help each other feel fresh air. Let’s listen and be, with appreciation that that is a wonderful life. There are callings for doing and callings for being, both change our view. Wouldn’t the same view for a lifetime be dull?
Shades of change. How are you self- caring in your day to day life? How are you able to help others with their view? From your center, what is moving out and staying near?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
I am a mom. I am not an empty nester, yet. My son is going to college. I can’t think about the returning, although it helps in the back of my mind. Today I know my son, my first baby, my only child, is living the dream of heading to college. I am proud of him. He worked hard. Slipped a bit on making the grade and then hit the study zone because he is a a child learning. He will be far away starting in August. Where will I be? I think the tears of goodbye are probably worse than how I will really feel. It has been this buildup of to do lists and applications and tests and grades and extra points and and… Yes, his responsibility but it spilled on me because I love him. I just feel at times that all is too fast for me now.
I am a good mother and he a good son, most of the time. We have had loud conflicts and those times I was ready to shut the door and say see ya. Will I say see ya in August? I doubt it. I will weep in pride and weep the gone days of morning and night at home together. He will come back. We will adjust to hello and goodbye. I will be older. He won’t even be thinking about his age. This change is showing me I don’t have forever, so I need to get on the horse and ride my dreams, now. What are my dreams? Mothering has taken my sleep, money, time, but mostly has given me the smiles of watching a life grow big and bigger and bigger. His life. What will mine be in August? I can’t honestly feel into not having that mom routine. Not real, yet. Real when I weep that he won’t be here. I might even like not watching the clock wondering if he is home, yet. I won’t miss the days I drove him everywhere, but it seems those were some of our best connections. I won’t miss the late nights. I won’t miss, “where are my socks for the game?” Will I?
There has been parent competition, unspoken, of who gets into what college. How good and special are you really? Is my son better than yours? Is my daughter more in demand with scholarships than yours? Of course, no one says it, but you feel it at parent meetings or running into each other in the market. I actually thought of lying about his accolades, but that makes me small or does it make me wise? I won’t miss the he said, she said, they have, we have. I will miss his friends. I wonder if I will stay in touch with the friends I have now or does that end? No more book club? I don’t know.
I have so many stories about being a mom. I have none about emptiness ter. What a strange word for this change of life, empty nester. I don’t like that word because of the trivial image of a nest and bird flying away. Parents are more than nests. Our children aren’t birds.
Who will I be? I just hope I have someone to talk to and someone to say,” you aren’t losing it, I feel that too.”
Katie
Valentine’s Day is a day people have strong feelings of like or dislike. Pressure, phony, commercial, loss, hiding, and celebrations of kisses.
A woman called my office and shared,” I have no lover today. I do have his love letters. We were never live in partners. We were in love. I treasure those sweet words and the sound of his voice in my head when I read them to myself.”
What room, letter, note, meal, glance, flower, candle, hike, vacation, car ride, etc., would you preserve to cherish love? If you are in love today, yesterday, or hope for tomorrow, what puts that smile on your precious face? What action do you do for love and what actions feed love to you? When someone makes me laugh, there sits love.
A mother shared with me that this Valentine’s Day is her last child at home’s Valentine’s Day and it just pulled her into endings. Yes, always a mom. Yes, still able to say, Happy Valentine’s Day, even when her daughter is at college in August, but not able to decorate with doilies, cut out hearts with kisses, cook a special meal, and slip a little jewel box on her daughter’s bed when she wakes for school. Each of us has traditions and joys that feed love. What are yours?
Susan asked me how she can get through Valentine’s Day when she is alone? She just wants it to be over. She doesn’t want anyone to know she has no plans. Embarrassed. She knows she is a good person and attractive. She knows this heart day is somewhat commercial, but she wants to be part of love. She wants love. Her fear is she won’t find a match and will have every Valentine’s Day alone. I am sure she is not the only person with those thoughts and feelings on February 14th. What would you share with her about love and Valentine’s Day?
Susan called back today and said, ” I planned an at home meal for myself for that day. I will watch movies with butter popcorn, light a bright ,big red candle, and write myself a note about what I love about love and what I love about ME. I know the night will end. Thank goodness. The 15th will be a fresh day and I am hopeful love and I will partner.”
Relationships feed you. Bob told me he has better relationship with his research than with people. But he feels the love spark when he discovers something new. Lisa loves her garden daily and feels loved by its surprises and beauty. I would guess that there are five memories, at least, that you have about feeling love. Even in loss, even in what is no more, a memory of love, can smile you. Memories matter. Present love can remind you of how grateful you are to love someone and be loved by them.
Reese told me she just loves planning ahead to surprise him. She almost feels it is a challenge to herself of how to express love and have fun. She likes a challenge. Reese also shared that her sweetie is a fabulous gift giver, but not so great with dressing well, sexy, and she wishes he would.
Solo or together, you know love and admit it…you love love..love of your pet, child, friend, movie, sport, partner, parents, food, music, travel, spirituality, education, giving, etc.
Marilyn shared she often visits a time in her life when she had the ups and downs of being with a partner. It feels so real for her today. She learned so much about herself that feed her to be a better woman. She had fun. She gave. She spends joyous times in nature on the weekends, by the water. Tears fall that he isn’t in her life now. Smiles visit her, feeling his hand in hers and his eyes that turn to her soul. “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” Poets words. Even at her age, as she says, she loves to love and thinks love will be in her hand and eyes, again.
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
If you were to drum out a song for those you love, what words would you hope to convey?
If you were to make a heart card, what would you draw in and outside the
heart?
If you danced love, how brave would you have to be?
No matter what way you choose to express, hope you have fun.
Don’t forget to send those love notes to yourself…”What I love about myself is that I…What people say they love about me is…
Celebrate the memories, the today, and the tomorrow hopes of love.
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
www.emptynestsupport.com
www.lifeintransition.org
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
My situation is a little different in being an empty nester. My kids will never go to college because they learn differently and college isn’t a match. Sometimes, I wish that were different, especially when I hear the news, see parents out and about with their kids, or go back and remember the first dreams of my being a mother, the things we would do and they might become. Different would help when I feel hurt by them or exhausted or alone.
I have been taught about reality and finding ways to take care of me and them. I love them more than I imagined. They taught me that, too. We are like a city in a city with lights on and off and new people meandering around wondering what’s around the corner.
I am strong. I am sad. I am their mother. They won’t be leaving home, nor will I. Still, my role as mommy changes, because they grow a year older, as do their hormones. I left the little ones who hold my hands, just like you. I look up to the taller ones and up and up.
Paula
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org