You are living in complex, challenging times. Your role may be shifting, whether in relationships or work or health. You are feeling stressed and tearful at times. What can you do when you are uncertain?
A mother called to chat with me about the greatest job she had, building a home and family.
She is a planner. Next summer her daughter leaves for college, then in the spring, her last child leaves. She is also a career woman, wife, daughter, aunt, and friend.
We laughed at how wisdom doesn’t always work.
The wisdom of listening.
The wisdom of mistakes will happen.
The wisdom of change happens over and over.
The wisdom of at least I tried.
When uncertainty sits in your bedroom, it is an invitation to go within and gather new resources.
What wasn’t familiar to this mother was the idea of making friends with the unknown. Like meeting a new friend, unknown becomes your new friend. Here is how you get to know unknown:
When your life or role changes you are in the discomfort of not knowing what you will be feeling or doing.
Make time to be with just you, in a quiet place. Begin a chat with the part of you that is in the unknown.
Ask that part of you:
1. What do you want to tell me today about my not knowing what will happen? Example, you have been in situations before where you didn’t know what would be next for you, so what did you do then? Keep listening to what else you hear. If you hear nothing, make it up. Yes, make it up. Some part of you is talking with you. See what you learn in that moment. Write what you hear that part say. Just take a minute and write notes, not full sentences, because you will forget.
2. What do you want to tell me today about what I might be feeling? Write it. Example – lonely, sad, hopeful, excited, angry, crabby, foolish.
3. What do you want to tell me about what I need today, as I sit in the unknown? Write it. Example, get outside and go for a walk, ask for help, research, rest.
Practice asking these three questions THREE TIMES a day. Yes, that sounds like a lot of time. It goes very fast when you ask the questions. You will be in the unknown for a while. This is how you make friends with not knowing what will be.
It is natural to lose confidence when your life has a sudden or expected change, even for happy changes. Staying connected with yourself builds compassion. Compassion builds hope and opens windows you never saw before.
Who doesn’t need to practice some new behaviors? When we do the same routine and think the same thoughts, creativity and energy can get depleted.
Practice chatting with yourself and write it down.
If you could see the small squares of paper I jot a thought on, rather than the lovely notebook I bought, you would laugh. Yes, I even have jotted a note on the back of my check book because I couldn’t find any paper. Once, OK more than once, I wrote on the inside of my hand with a pen.
Keep the perfectionist out of conversations with yourself. Just begin getting to know this unknown part of you. Begin, I wonder what you will discover?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
Life In Transition, What’s Next?
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Los Angeles
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How do you keep your perspective during the holidays? A woman asked me that question on a telephone consultation. She recently divorced. Tears will still fall and disappointments of how she thought her life would be.
1. Cry when you need to cry. Who wouldn’t, especially during the expectations and images of holiday.
2. Self-care. What nurtures you?
3. Who can you call for support? It is ok to call and ask if you can join them for anytime over the holiday. You would allow someone to join you.
4. Remind yourself that you get to choose how you want your holiday to be this year. Often our past freezes us out of choices in the moment.
5. Plan something ahead of time so that you can look forward to that time of celebration. Check what is happening in your city and see if you want to join in on that event.
6. Perspective means not to jump too far ahead or live in the past. It is a couple of days in December, not your whole life.
7. You have impacted people throughout your life in a positive way. Who are those people?
8. If your holidays are looking less than how you wish they would be, use this time as a retreat for you. I know that sounds lonely. If you can shift your perception to loving the life you have for now, it won’t be as sad.
A woman called and we figured out what she needed was movies, sleep, take in meals so she felt like she was on vacation and not cleaning, walks in nature, journaling time, newspaper reading at a local cafe, and visiting pet adoption locations.
If you are having visitors, you don’t need to be the entertainer and cook. Let them know you have a habit of over giving. You want to have fun with them and not always be the leader. Ask what ideas they have to make the holiday fun and restful.
May your holiday deliver a happy surprise and meaningful connections.
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
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Family, friends, colleagues, parents, and children all have ideas of how the holidays should unfold. Expectations are normal and often unspoken. Can you be a listener and a leader if needed? See if these tips for the holiday season of get-to-gethers, whether with one person or a group, might keep you from tears.
1. Focus on your strengths. You spend repetitive time on what you need to fix about yourself or someone else. Choice is a powerful gift. You get to make choices. Choose to notice what you are good at and wear that each day.
2. Practice being a happy person. Fake it till you make it. That means you need to pause before you speak. For some of you who don’t bring happy energy to the room, plan ahead what you will talk about and then deliver. Dead energy is for the wood burning fireplace.
3. Why do I bring these two reminders to you? These are the bottom line issues of hurt feelings that people bravely share with me. These are some reasons people lose faith in themselves and others. They also forget to practice finding real meaning in their life. That habit of blame comes in the room, “I am over worked. I am tired. I have to do everything. I just want to sit. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the time. I don’t know what to say. I am different than you and I am who I am. I am sure you can add words to what you say when you are hurt or walking on eggshells when someone enters the room. Meaning in life, shifts self-centeredness and self-limitations. What is meaningful for you today? What is greater than your challenges?
4. Let yourself have fun. What are you waiting for? Is your way of daily living worth the wait if you aren’t smiling during the week?
5. Stand Tall. How would someone you admire act in the situation? Give that a try in small steps. Copy that person’s behavior even if you feel awkward and stumble with the words and actions. Newness is uplifting.
6. Ask yourself how often you say you are trying and honestly aren’t. You know why you aren’t even if you can’t articulate it. Get to know yourself more and more because you are the one in the room who affects joy or sorrow.
7. If you are able to forgive others, then deeply forgive yourself and start anew. It is never too late to be happy and loving.
Bottom line, holidays are more meaningful and memorable when spent with happy people. Focus on the good in you and let that light the room you stand in every day.
May you have moments during the holiday that put a smile on your face and others.
PS. I just can’t help myself, so forgive me for saying the trite…it is not about the gifts, it is about generosity of spirit, and yes, anytime there is a surprise, an unexpected gift or gesture, that makes for a happy face. Be happy….
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Online classes
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Free active message board – connect with others
– Story of the Month
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My family is answering new calls. I am ready to let go. Ready and don’t like it. My kids are adults. I feel at times like the left overs. I do understand the past isn’t the present traditions.
They love me that I know. Their story doesn’t matter. For me, I am solo and made new plans this year. My kids have to do what they have to do with new relationships and I have to celebrate life in memories of them and phone call voices and new ideas.
Here is my plan this year. Chat with each child when we can on Thanksgiving. Serve at a soup kitchen downtown in the day. Evening, eat with a friend next door and share stories. Movie the next day.
When it is written it doesn’t sound like much of a celebration. It is for me. I am free. I am safe. I am independent, healthy, and proud of the life I have lived. I don’t fit the Hallmark image. Finally I fit my own image. I am a baker for fun and that shines during this season. I give it away because my fun is in the cooking and knocking on the door.
I wish there were more stories on TV of people changing holiday traditions as they live longer and accept families connect when they can.
I am grateful I make my happiness and health by waving away the negativity and applauding the good I have.
Meranda
Did you pack your toothbrush? That is the one repeated question I ask, since I don’t want to share. Travel and transitions are about feeling out of control. Who likes that feeling?
Back to sharing….One of the top questions people bring up during our telephone consultation is that they don’t want to talk about certain subjects during the holiday.
They feel too vulnerable or private for now. I will cut to the chase and suggest you say,” I pass-on talking about that subject this holiday. I will talk about your beautiful home. When you say what you don’t want and also add what you do want, it sits less defensive or controlling, don’t you think?
What aren’t you ready to share during the holidays? Is that ok with you for now?
When Sara spoke with me about her anxiety for the holidays it included not wanting to talk about her illness over and over. She deals with it day and night and is doing well today. What she wants is fun, distraction from illness routine, and to be seen as “normal.”
She understands people want updates. Her plan is to give an update in an email before people visit or before she gets in the car. If that doesn’t work, she said she might just say, “I am so bored with managing my good and bad days, could we talk about you?” Who doesn’t want to talk about themselves?
That is the solution we came up with while having our session together on the telephone.
The sign BEWARE OF DOG, definitely gets my attention. I don’t want to get hurt. A sign for you to remember is, BEWARE OF EXPECTATIONS. I think that is a top bruiser when it comes to being with people.
Check out how you want the holidays to be, how it might be, and what you really need during the gathering time. Then ask if you are being realistic, coming from past roles you played or longed to play, and if you are taking into account who that other person really is and isn’t.
We have so many different parts inside us, like an orchestra, that it is natural to feel whatever and whenever you feel what you feel. Sounds so trite. Sounds so forgotten in the moment.
Music works to shift me and uplift my moods. Right now I am hearing in my head, the song, LET IT BE, LET IT BE, LET IT BE…
Wishing you laughter and delicious breaking bread together with those you enjoy,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com
Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, HUFFINGTON POST, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
– Private Telephone Consultations
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I love Thanksgiving. I love the excitement of the people I love walking through the front door. Yes, I tolerate the ones that punch my buttons. I know I shouldn’t say that, after all, it is THANKSGIVING, and yet we all deal with those challenges, don’t we?
What I am not dealing with this week is my menu? It is not like me to not know by now what I am serving. Once I leap through new and old recipes, I make my lists. Fun for me is having people chop the veggies, carry fire wood, light candles, change the music, and simply be part of the whole experience.
Our kitchen is small and still very functional. I get tearful thinking about the holidays. I have memories of people I love who won’t be in the kitchen. I have smiles thinking about the joy of the people who will be here.
Oh, I hope, my uncertainty of how much we need, doesn’t keep me or others running back and forth to the grocery store. We will have enough. i have never been good at figuring out amounts of food for company.
My parents had a buffet of hot plates topped with turkey, brisket, stuffing, gravy, chocolate lace pie, apple pie, sweet potatoes with mini marshmallows , green beans and slivered almonds, hot rolls and butter, cranberries and sauce, fresh fruit, oh my . I don’t even want to write all the foods that are popping in my head from that buffet. Amazing, isn’t it, how we can see the layout of foods and exactly where they stood year after year, down to the candy bowls on the end tables.
This year, I am going to suggest we have running short races outside with silly prizes after we eat and rest. Game night might include apples to apples. Is that what it is called? Hum…can’t remember. Can remember laughing at the table playing it.
What is on your menu for food and fun? What drives you crazy and what do you look forward to this Thanksgiving?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
On the web www.emptynestsupport.com
Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, HUFFINGTON POST, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Online classes
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Free active message board – connect with others
– Story of the Month
– Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter
– Los Angeles, CA
1. When I am going through a transition, self-talk steps in. “Natalie, how are you doing? No really, Natalie, how are you doing? What do you need today? Can someone help you or do you think you can give that need to yourself?” I just feel better when I check in with myself during the day and evening.
2. When I am stuck, I stay curious and compassionate. Even if I am not stuck, curiosity keeps me uplifted and compassion keeps me more relaxed. “I wonder why that person has to dominate the conversation.” “I did the best I could in the moment.”
3. Love starting my day with one cup of black coffee in my small garden wearing flannel jammies around six am. My self-planted garden is organic, and a surprise. I am still picking red tomatoes, but my basil is leaving. Dalia’s gone and fuchsia blooming. Can’t grab enough arugula and pick black kale. Hummingbirds and butterflies. What’s not to keep me from starting my day that way? My inner pusher who thinks I need to respond to emails now.
4. I know you hear it all the time and it is true for me too, I say what I am grateful for in a way that goes like this, “Thank goodness I feel great today.” “Thank goodness I work for myself.” “Thank goodness my daughter is happy.” “Thank goodness he loves his work.” You get the idea. I just need to remember what I am not suffering with today and what I love about my life. That works for a quick shift in attitude for me. I am that consistent with writing it down.
5. When I am making a decision, or shifting roles, I remember there are lots of parts inside me, like an orchestra. I bring them up to hear.
6. I have practiced for decades getting off the hamster wheel of thoughts that aren’t true in my head. I say, “Is that fantasy thought, reality thought, or from my past?”
7. I am a connecter, so I like to briefly touch in to say hello to people I love. Makes me happy. Sometimes a call, text or email.
8. I also love my solo time. I need it to nurture and hear me.
9. Change is inevitable, whether sudden or expected. I just let myself weep whenever I need to weep.
10, When I don’t want to go somewhere or do something, mostly because I am feeling vulnerable, I hold my hand and say something like,” You can do this. You just aren’t feeling as confident or energetic in this moment. It will pass. You love doing….so remember that right now and think about that.” Say, yes more than no if the no is coming from fear. It does invigorate me to do what I think I didn’t want to do, but that is a longer story for another interview. It is about knowing who I am and who I am not and pulling up new resources within. I know I have that little one inside me who just wants me to do nothing but stay home. I tell her “thank you for the reminder. I’ve got this one. You don’t have to do anything.” “This goes along with having different parts inside you like an orchestra. Some are too loud, too soft, and some are dormant and simply want a chance to be heard. I know when vulnerability rises, which some call fear, so I chat with myself about the plus and the minus of that decision, key is I do that chat while walking not sitting. Oh the tricks and treats we learn about ourselves!
11. I have a reality talk with myself so that my expectations get lowered and not inflated. When my daughter comes back home, for example, I practice being in my new role as her mom and allow her to be in hers. Oh that gets embarrassing sometimes because I love mothering and can slip into my old role, “Oh, don’t forget your sweater and bottle of water.” Really, I think she knows how to dress. I remind myself our rhythms are different, for example, I am an early riser who bounces out of bed and doesn’t need a wake up time to transition into my new day. I just have that morning energy. She is quieter in the morning. So I need to not ask questions and just be there in the kitchen or her bedroom with soft energy. Or better yet, let her find me when she wakes up…um not so easy for me, because I am excited she is home. Expectations need a check in for work, gatherings, family, vacation, love, etc., in order to decrease disappointments and hurt, don’t you think? We just have expectations that come without knowing who is doing the inner talk…the dreamer, the adolescent, the narcissist, the whiner?
12. I am better at making friends with the unknown. When I don’t have clarity or don’t know what is going to happen, I let myself know I have been through worse times and will be OK. I can trust myself and handle not knowing. When I am feeling restless, I call a friend for help or venting. When I need professional advice, I make an appointment. Who doesn’t need help at times? I think we forget it is normal to seek comfort and help.
13. I plan and do less when I am in a transition.
14. I use my words and ask others to use theirs. That sounds condescending. Sorry for that. I just get frustrated when people don’t respond or act passive. I do know we all have neediness, off days, fear, and confusion, so that compassion helps me forgive and let go. Just not worth staying in that dark room when I can’t develop.
15. When I am preparing for a transition I know will be right around the corner, like care-taking or kids leaving the nest, I say no to what doesn’t really need my attention, and yes to what I won’t get back again, like TIME, with me, with my kids, with someone who matters to me. Work is necessary. Work is fulfilling. Work is also a place to hide because it is familiar and less vulnerable. Time doesn’t come back. Love does. OK, enough of that philosophy message. You and I just need reminders and permission to pause and reflect, don’t you think?
Let’s do this again. You can email me questions you have or thoughts that are on your mind today.
Take good care,
Natalie
Life in Transition, What’s Next? Action to change
www.lifeintransition.org
natalie@lifeintransition.org
Los Angeles, CA
(818) 763-0188 or Toll Free (800) 446-3310
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Who doesn’t fall in tears and laughter about their life? Transitions bring reflections. Nothing lasts forever and that includes friendships.
Differences pop up with partners, friends, parents, children, siblings, colleagues. When people share their loss of friends and their want to lose them, they feel embarrassed. Embarrassed like a divorce. They feel they failed because they couldn’t stay happy with their friend. They feel unwanted when the phone doesn’t ring and they have no plans for the week. Solo time feels like a punishment rather than a gift. Truth is, more people than you know, want to wave goodbye and break up with a friend. More people than you know didn’t live the life the world imaged for them.
So what is the gift and the curse of what happened and didn’t happen in your life?
1. You get to begin again.
2. You get to change your mind. You are an adult and earned the badge.
3. You see new perspectives about who you are and who you aren’t.
4. You practice forgiveness of self then others.
5. You gather new resources that you now need.
6. You weep and don’t drown and weep again.
7. You become more of who you want to be now.
8. You walk with compassion and curiosity in ways you never imagined.
9. New is good. Awkward is normal.
10. Unknown is actually a fresh location in your heart.
What helps in the unknown is to take the hand of not knowing and hold it with the hand of what you do know. Become friends with both. Not everything you think is true. Open and be in wonderment.
A woman shared with me during a telephone consultation that she couldn’t believe at her age, she had to start over. Funds were OK, but less than two years ago. She was going through divorce after a seventeen year marriage.
Her girlfriends seemed in another world than hers. Her children were in college. She works, but not fulfilled. You can tell the losses were bringing up self-doubt and self-criticism. It seems we get in a habit of down grading ourselves rather than compassion.
We just don’t know where to turn or how to begin with a list of transitions. She will have to move. Her house cleanup is a pile of memories. She decided to pick one new thing that would help her during the week. For her, it was writing a goal for each day.
She realized the overwhelm of a long to do list and the sorrow made her scattered. She also added something to look forward to during the week and wrote that down.
Each of us learns more about ourselves when walking changes. My hope is you never forget to be gentle with yourself and reach out to someone for help.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Online classes
– Support groups
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– Story of the Month
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1. You never call. Shift that to, I would love to get an email, text, or call from you even it is short. I know you are busy.
2. You always wait to the last minute. Judgment distances us from those we love. They know they procrastinate. Shift to; you know your style of getting things done. Do you think it would be difficult to change that?
3. You go see them and not us anymore. Shift to; it must be hard to juggle all the people you want to be with. I hope we get lunch or dinner together. Let me know when you know your plans. It matters to me that we get time together.
4. You always want me to drop what I am doing and do for you. Shift to; I think you forget that my role in your life has changed, just as your role with me is different. This is a simple statement with a pause for them to take that in, again and again, as a reminder that you are changing into seeing each other more as woman and less as mother. Yes, you will always be their mother and with a new role in their life.
5. You are mean to me. Shift to, I feel like you treat your friends better than you treat me and that hurts. They get the best moods of you. I get the angry, grumpy, attacking moods dumped on me with all your frustrations of life. I would like to have some of your happy, positive side when we are together.
Truth is, there are no magic ways to have a positive impact on those we love and there are ways that keep the door open. Timing matters and whether they are open or closed to changing, which you have nothing to do with. You can only say what you need to say and then let it go. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
It does help to think before you speak which is easier said than done when the wounds keep getting bumped. Sometimes you need to be loud, angry, demanding. As always, I will be the one to remind you that you need to hold paradoxes, for example, yes, that is true, and this is true as well. Key is the word, “and” which keeps your mind and heart open to newness and compassion.
Communication is a skill. Email me how your communication is going with your children.
What is difficult when speaking with them?
Take care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
-Private Telephone Consultations
-Speaking engagements
-Online classes
-Support groups
-Workshops
-Free active message board – connect with others
-Story of the Month
-Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
-Los Angeles, CA
Whether you are on your way to emptying your nest or already sitting in it, the role you lived as parent shifts. Who are you beyond mother? Who are you beyond father?
When you sit with others who are on a similar journey, you feel a bonding, a clan, a place to be right where you are with your full range of thoughts and feelings.
Until you hug your children goodbye and come back home to their empty room and silence, it isn’t real. You think about. You wonder how you will be and what will be next for you? You wonder how they will do away from home and support.
I have spoken with thousands of parents across the country. I am an empty nester. Empty nest is an invitation to focus back on self. It is a stage of your life where you begin to build new inner resources. You grieve for the role and life you had and at the same time are excited about the new freedom to come for you.
Even when children graduate high school or college and live at home, due to finances or other challenges, you the parent know, you have been kicked out of the kingdom as you knew it. They want more independence. You feel on tilt because you don’t know how to build this new relationship with them.
The school community you had is over. You are curious about where new friendships will come together. I haven’t met a parent who doesn’t long to feel connected with their children and free at the same time. Parts of you, the parent, had to go dormant. There is only so much energy you have. In this new stage of empty nester, you will find those dormant parts and celebrate what you forgot or chose to put on hold.
I remember recently watching a political historian on a talk show. She shared her insights about politics today and our future as it connects to what we may learn from past presidents. She was captivating for me, as always. But, when she sat next to her son, during that same show and looked at him while he was being interviewed, she lit up like I have never seen her before. Her face said it all. I am his mom. I am so proud of him right now. I am his mom no matter what age he is (he is past his college graduation).
For me, parenting has been one of my top teachers of life, joyous and challenging for sure.
Get support. Meet other empty nesters. You are welcome to connect for free on our website message board with other empty nesters, read the stories and blogs, or call about a support group in your area.
No one needs to go through this major life transition alone.
Take good care,
Natalie
www.emptynestsupport.com
818 763 0188 or 800 446 3310
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Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Online classes
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Free active message board – connect with others
– Story of the Month
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter
– Los Angeles, CA
No matter if you are single, married, retiring, dealing with loss, health challenges, or seeking new inspiration or work, transitions ask you to go within.
My life started early with changes and I think that seeded my passion for teaching and supporting those traveling the unknown.
Tip for today:
Ask yourself daily, “What am I feeling? What am I thinking about? What do I need today?”
It sounds so simple. I will tell you that in Daspeaking with people across the country, they don’t make time to ask those inner questions.
Ask at least five times during your day and evening. One time does not take you deeper into your inner self nor open you to choices.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
Featured in TIME MAGAZINE, NY TIMES, LIFETIME RADIO FOR WOMEN, LA TIMES, USA TODAY, WASHINGTON POST, BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.
– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Online classes
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Free active message board – connect with others
– Story of the Month
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– Los Angeles, CA
Married, single, career or stay at home parent, change brings vulnerability.
Karen called my office weeping, “I dropped my son off at his dorm and sobbed. I sobbed right there in front of him. I am not a crier.”
I don’t know where we got the idea that we can predict and control our sadness.
When you are going through a life change, all knowing is off. You have never been in this moment before, so trust you won’t destroy yourself or your kids. Tears fall.
A mother shared with our support group her experience. She said, “He wasn’t a freshman off to college, he was a sophomore. I knew what to expect, but I couldn’t hold back my tears.
He had to get go through security and I had to let him go. I just cried and cried right there in front of the lines of people who were going somewhere.”
You pride yourself in being organized, prepared, pulled together, and then that sudden, unexpected rush of feelings, falls out and surprises you.
Who is that person losing it? It is you and so many other parents who hug their children goodbye.
It isn’t just the goodbye, see you soon, love you, it is a new stage of your life that you knew was out there somewhere, but not today.
Seven years ago, I launched Empty Nest Support Services. I didn’t want to go through this life transition without support nor have anyone else walk the walk alone.
Some people need to get busy, some to be still, some to gather, some to get out of town. You will discover what you need and when you are stuck, sad, confused, you will find support. It takes practice to ask for help, to nurture yourself, and mostly to be ok with not knowing what to do or where to head, next.
I know this because I have lived it over and over throughout my life. I don’t like the unknown. I don’t like saying goodbye to people I adore. Who does?
I hope you leave your shoulds, and coulds on the street and step inside your home carrying self-compassion and curiosity.
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine M.A.
(800) 446-3310 or (818) 763-0188
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org