A parent called sharing she was waiting for her twins to be ecstatic from the long anticipated acceptance letters to college. She worried there would be tears with rejection letters, no choices. What parent wouldn’t want their children to get what they want? Changes can bring brightness, dullness, or shades of grey, usually the latter.
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Valentine’s Day is a day people have strong feelings of like or dislike. Pressure, phony, commercial, loss, hiding, and celebrations of kisses. A woman called my office and shared,” I have no lover today. I do have his love letters. We were never live in partners. We were in love. I treasure those sweet words
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If you were to drum out a song for those you love, what words would you hope to convey? If you were to make a heart card, what would you draw in and outside theheart? If you danced love, how brave would you have to be? No matter what way you choose to express, hope
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What do you know about love? That is the question I posed to my ongoing fabulous support group. They gave themselves about fifteen minutes to write. You can imagine the joy and tears that filled the living room. Colored pastels were also on the table if they felt like doodling or drawing rather than words
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Parents packed up their college kids, again, and said goodbye, after a great winter break together. Our support group shared that even though they have done this before, tears still fell. Some said they held back tears, while others just didn’t want to stop the sudden drop. All were grateful to be sitting together, sharing
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I said I would use lotion during the dry winter and I didn’t. I did say out loud what really matters to me this year of 2012. I did write a list of my strengths and challenges. I wrote who I am grateful for and who I am no longer interested in, which sounds
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If you don’t call on the holidays, you don’t get the love. A mom shared with me that she makes too many excuses for her kids not calling during the holidays. They are busy. They are kids who of course forget. Do you make excuses for your kids during the holidays? One year she called
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When do mothers stop directing, by the judging eye or words, about what their children are wearing? “Put on some lipstick, you look pale. Your shoes are filthy. Don’t you have an iron? You can’t wear jeans to Aunt Kelly’s.” What words have you heard about how you dress during holiday gatherings?Is it a dress
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Last thing you think of doing when in a transition and feeling out of control is to meditate. Yet, a voice nags at you saying, “It could help.” I am asked during workshops and private sessions, “How do I meditate when I am so restless?” My answer may surprise you. …Close your eyes and simply
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A mother shared with me during a telephone session, “I know my daughter loves me, but I don’t think she likes me. She doesn’t want to spend much time with me when she comes back home.” After chatting and sorting, she realized her perception and expectations of mother daughter were cloudy. Holidays for sure bring
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You are living in complex, challenging times. Your role may be shifting, whether in relationships or work or health. You are feeling stressed and tearful at times. What can you do when you are uncertain? A mother called to chat with me about the greatest job she had, building a home and family.She is
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How do you keep your perspective during the holidays? A woman asked me that question on a telephone consultation. She recently divorced. Tears will still fall and disappointments of how she thought her life would be. 1. Cry when you need to cry. Who wouldn’t, especially during the expectations and images of holiday. 2. Self-care.
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Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org