with Natalie caine

January 17, 2014 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Natalie’s article as a Wall Street Journal Expert

What’s the biggest mistake people make when it comes to starting a second career?

NATALIE CAINE: Deciding what career to launch next is like deciding to date again. You wouldn’t start your date in the bedroom would you? If more than a night mattered to you, you would get to know each other first through common interests, attraction, values, gifts and challenges, etc.

Over and over people share with me their passion to be passionate. Their blind spot is unrealistic expectations that sound like this, “I should have more success by now,” or “I should have the answers by now,” or “They should have called me by now.” Get to know who you are and who you aren’t. Then pull up needed inner and outer resources from the discovery of who you are and aren’t today.

A woman wanted to make a difference with kids. She wanted to start kid clubs where they could express their creativity without judgment. She researched location and budget. What she skipped was seeing what programs existed and then chatting with people about their day on the job. She ran to open by the summer as it was spring time. She forgot to sit in her imaginary club and notice what she saw, how she felt, and what she was doing. The big, big question for embarking on your second career is: Would this give you new meaning in life?

The bottom line is that a second career asks you to get to know parts of yourself that may have gone dormant, like the researcher, the observer, the giver, the artist, the collaborator. The second career brings up the question, are you a risk taker with a net or without a net? Who is on your team that believes in you and has the skills to mentor you?

Do you have a tendency to quit too soon or stay too long? Are you going to pause or take a happy break in order to keep your creativity thriving?

Second careers are exciting because they bring new vibrancy, which is probably what has been missing.

Slow down. Ask for help. Course correct from feedback you receive. Decrease your habit of comparing yourself to others.

You are a beginner, again. Isn’t that refreshing? You have never been here before so keep self-compassion a priority. Step up. Move forward. Fall down. Get Up. Shift. Begin, again.

Natalie Caine (@NatalieCaine) is the owner of Empty Nest Support Services and Life in Transition.

Read it on WSJ.com January 16, 2014