with Natalie caine

August 15, 2014 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

Whether chosen changes or unexpected, it truly is an opportunity to be gentle, and get to know parts of you that had to be tucked in your socks.

Now you find your new rhythm, over and over.

Now you begin to ask yourself questions. What matters to me today?  What do I appreciate about myself?

Now you check in daily, five times a day, asking HOW AM I DOING, WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT, HOW AM I FEELING, WHAT DO I NEED TODAY and WHO CAN HELP ME? This becomes your new daily practice, and it honestly supports you. You know yourself better than you give yourself credit.

When I was working with a woman, she shared how she needs warnings about changes. She gets overwhelmed, which for her shows up by over eating and isolating. Her feelings freeze. Her head spins with worry.  I appreciate the courage in this woman to express who she is for now.  She was open to building new habits.

Here is a small road map built for her and maybe you:

1. Writing in bed for fifteen minutes about her feelings. “I am feeling so…, I did not expect this because…
2. Reminding herself to STOP thinking about the worries… say “STOP IT.”
3. Remembering, she did go through challenges before, and happiness returned. “Oh yeah, that was a terrible time and I got through it.”
4. Dream big. Engage your creative side and your imagination. You have a full range within you. So go within and chat with parts of you that you haven’t met yet, like the “WISE ONE.” Hello Wise One, what do you think about my…?”
5. Grieve for what isn’t happening and what did happen. Pour out those tears. Who wouldn’t be sobbing if this happened to them?
6. You are not being punished.
7. TRUST… each experience offers you practices in trusting yourself. You will be more than all right in time. You can handle the sorrow and the UNKNOWN. You have not been forgotten.

Change happens over and over in your life. Isn’t it too bad we weren’t taught in school how to handle changes? It is never too late to begin, again. I have lived a long list of changes from a young age.

There are times I just want to whine about going through them, again. I do whine. I do collapse. I do stand tall again.  In getting to know myself for who I am and who I am not, I know those behaviors are part of my coping skills of changes. Sometimes I shift. Sometimes I don’t.

I am grateful to be here. I am appreciative for who I am with me and with others.  That helps the tearful times when I am clueless, sad, and non-productive. I don’t see value in comparing myself to others. I am a value for myself and those I love. I put my voice in the room because I need to express and I can handle the responses.  It takes practice. It is worth practicing. Change does happen in happy ways.

You will be able to engage in other parts of yourself that are tucked in your socks.  They are patiently waiting to meet you.

Take good care,
Natalie

Natalie Caine M.A.

Life In Transition, What’s Next?
Empty Nest Support Services
(800) 446-3310 or (310) 454-0040
Los Angeles

Featured in Time Magazine, USA Today, Huffington Post, Wall Street Journal, MariaShriver .com, Better Homes and Gardens, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Lifetime Radio for Women, Chicago Tribune, Sirius, Associated Press, Miami Herald, and many more.

Change is inevitable. Get Ready. Get Support. Life transitions need a hand to hold.

www.lifeintransition.org
www.emptynestsupport.com

– Private Telephone Consultations
– Speaking engagements
– Support groups
– Workshops
– Mentoring
– Facebook, Linked In, Twitter