with Natalie caine

October 17, 2014 | by Natalie Caine | No Comments

As one of the Wall Street Journal Experts, Natalie’s blog was originally published at blogs.wsj.com.

When you shift back into routines and accountability after being retired, a part of you fears you made a mistake and are trapped. Your inner doubter says that you took on more than you wanted to at this stage of your life and that you will be left out of the other life you developed that didn’t include a work schedule. You get to decide who to let lead you. Who do you want to listen to that speaks in your rushing head and heart?

The mistake I see people making is that they don’t give themselves enough time to check in with different parts of themselves. We all have familiar parts that guide us and unfamiliar parts that rarely get voice time. We have parts that like making money, feeling needed, having community, parts that wonder if this the last time we will be hired. And then there are parts of us that want to play, have free time daily, do something different than work, that aren’t driven as in the past. These are examples of parts of you to have a chat with while making this decision.

In other words, make time to get to know yourself better and not only rely on what you think you know about yourself. In re-entering work, where are your “yesses” and where are your “nos” and where is there confusion when you explore your:

1. Values

2. Solo time

3. Relationships

4. Creativity

5. Finances

6. Fun time

7. Spirituality

8. Intellect

9. Wellness

What will get sacrificed? Dive deeper than the surface of what is familiar in this decision-making. Who else within you has some wisdom to share with you? Listen for inner responses to your questions. Sit with yourself more than once, and ask the question, “What would be helpful for me right now?” “What am I not thinking about or feeling?” Listen.

Reality check:

1. You want to be good at what you do.

2. Fear is expected. Action reduces anxiety.

3. You will learn something about yourself. Isn’t that a good thing?

4. You aren’t the only one who will make mistakes and show up with their flaws.

5. If you have a rule about your life, does it apply today?

6. You will find your rhythm from uncomfortable to comfortable, over and over.

7. Notice when you feel excited rather than depleted.

8. Do what is right in front of you.

9. Life doesn’t come with guarantees.

Natalie Caine (@NatalieCaine) is the owner of Empty Nest Support Services and Life in Transition.