Here I am writing to you because I think you get my new life. Holidays are hectic and energizing. Then I fall. The house gets quiet and the hole is deep with everyone gone. I have been working on not stressing. Mostly I do well. I made that decision this year when she left for college. She is getting an upper level education and time I do the same by being different when I can. I stress too much. I figured out stress is a major distraction from having to deal with people and with other parts of my life. True.
I make lists of my dreams like traveling solo to Brazil and really liking it. First I will do a road trip. Divorce messes up choices and hope. I am so strong it is silly. I just keep going after I dump my stress on myself and sometimes others. I get up and go.
Do you think it is better to figure it all out or sometimes let the hurt feelings, the confusion, just go and see what happens. Feels like a chill until I can stop the stress, de frost my obsessive thoughts, and appreciate.
It has been challenging to make new friends beyond my work life. People just have their life. I am taking Spanish. How do you meet people? Honestly, I like time with me and not always being mother, so when she leaves I do get back into my life. I just feel this loneliness. I don’t really have someone to talk to about my daughter like if I had her father around or a partner that cared for her. Good news or challenging with her, it would be better to share the concerns and joys with a partner who cares because he has always been with her.
I thank you for being here today. Will you share?
Carol
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
Thank you for sharing this. Your words express many of the things I have rattling around in my head at this very moment. It’s encouraging to know I’m not the only one out there experiencing this. Carol, keep being the strong person and Mother you’ve always been and have a fantastic day.