Our world of Covid has shown us how businesses persevere to remain open. It got me thinking in what ways am I open and not open in my personal life. When have I quit too soon or when have I plowed ahead without pausing to see the wildflowers in the fields? When have I assumed why people act like they do rather than asking how did you come to that thought or action?
I used to be easily influenced by other’s opinions. I didn’t have a pause button to drop within and ask and then listen, “What is true for you, Natalie? What do you want to do?”
One of the ways I check to see if I AM OPEN is to ask myself questions and listen to what I sense or feel. For example, “Am I in a place today where I can be vulnerable with that person and say what is on my mind? Can I handle what might come my way today? If not, is there a way to ready myself to be vulnerable?” I think checking in with what I am thinking about, feeling, and what I need, is an integrated tool that really works for me. What helps you to see with fresh eyes and to assess what’s up for you each day? What works for you when it comes to asking someone, did I hear that in a way you meant it? Is there a different way you want me to treat you?
Somedays, I am not even available to myself. I know I am NOT OPEN. I am exhausted or simply wanting to just BE. My whole life, I had an inner pusher. Thank goodness I made friends with my BEING self, with the part of me that doesn’t need to think or feel or know anything. RELIEF. I also know that life happens and I don’t always have a choice of responding or not responding so again, I check in with myself and I keep pausing and noticing what’s around me when I do need to respond. Breathing deep breaths works for me and reminding myself whatever it is that I am engaged with that is uncomfortable, THIS WON’T LAST FOREVER. In other words, I chat with myself. YOU ARE OK, Natalie.
I am inviting you to ask yourself:
WHERE AM I OPEN AND WHERE AM I NOT OPEN in my personal life?
Where do I want to make a course correction with my generosity, my relationships, my solo time, my views of humanity? Where do I want to get a little bit better with my opinions and actions? I have been diving deep for decades in order to grow into a more compassionate, curious, generous person and to keep the wonder of life alive. I have learned to say sorry faster than when I was younger and thought I would be punished by them knowing my weakness.
Compassion has come easily to me. Curiosity and wonder are strong. My BLIND SPOT has been false expectations. I am keeping that awareness in my front mirror. Bottom line today is I hold opposites. I know for example, not his real name, Ted rarely shows up for me in ways I have asked him to so why do I think he would now? At the same time, I am open to that possibility, but I don’t expect it. I don’t keep having conversations about that with him and I don’t make plans around what Ted has shown he is for whatever reason, not able to deliver. Holding opposites is a valuable awareness for me.
Am I open? What comes to mind for you when you say those words to yourself? AM I OPEN TO ANOTHER WAY OF THINKING ABOUT THAT SITUATION OR THAT PERSON? WHERE DO I WANT TO PERSEVERE AND WHERE DO I NEED A PAUSE?
Take good care,
Natalie
Natalie Caine, M.A. natalie@lifeintransition.org
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